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Last week, I posted my review for the new Kottonmouth Kings album, The Green Album. It was not a good album and I expressed my distaste in my criticism. I assumed that would have been the end of it. After all, it was something like my thirtieth (guess-timation) review for the site, and I had thus far only received one comment on all of them. The comment by “adam” for Secret Machines disagreed with my analysis, but he offered his own opinion in a civil manner (and even called my writing “eloquent”). I respected his own observations, saw why he liked it more than I, and replied to his differing view politely. And that was it.

But with The Green Album, I have apparently struck a nerve with some people (I assume that they’re all fans). Not only did the review get commented upon, but the posts kept pouring in. At the time of writing this, there have been six angry responses and a handful of defenses and/or stunned reactions from the JustPressPlay staff.

As of now, it is the most popular page on the entire site, even beating out Porn Director Reviews "Zack and Miri Make a Porno", which I assumed would be untouchable because it had “porn” and “porno” in its title (you just can’t beat that on search engines). Normally, I would be thrilled that one of my reviews is receiving so much attention, but instead I’m a little depressed. I was pleased with what I wrote, and appreciate it when someone disagrees with me and confronts me about it, but the differing comments have been inordinately profane, violent and, worst of all, entirely unconstructive. I’ve even received a couple of nasty emails, which really confuses me since I assumed that my email was privately secured in the database (maybe they know me, but I doubt it). I have done my best to ignore the “hate mail” because there’s really no way to respond to such open hostility without sinking to their level. Nevertheless, something ought to be said, not just in my defense but in the defense of anyone who gets flamed for publishing their opinion in a professional capacity.

First, about the review. It’s difficult for a critic to read books, listen to music, watch a movie, etc. without having certain expectations. But in this case, I honestly had none since I had only heard of the band and had never sampled their material before. Then I listened to it and my heart sank. I gave it a 2 out of 10, and I rounded up. The problems were like quicksand; every time I resisted, I sunk deeper and deeper. A bad song disappoints me. An album full of bad songs depresses me. An album running past seventy-seven minutes of bad song after bad song is actually painful. And that’s what it was. I had to stop the disc twice before reaching the end because I had to clear my thoughts. I don’t need to explain the reasons why I felt that way here (you can read them in the review), but understand that I didn’t intentionally trash the Kottonmouth Kings because of any reason other than the fact that I hated the music.

Some others, though, have come to conclusions about myself and my viewpoints, and have attacked that aspect rather than defending the music. At best, they simply say something to the effect that Kottonmouth Kings rule. It’s an opinion they are entitled to, but one that really could use a nourishment. Why do you like them? Why do you like this album? What are your favorite songs? What about my criticisms of the music do you find fault with? Instead, I am accused of being a variety of profane names and that I hate people who smoke marijuana. I wasn’t a self-loathing college student, so I think it’s safe to say that the latter part is inaccurate. As for being an idiot, a shitfuck, a fucking tard, an asshole and so on, well maybe they got me on that one. Can’t prove one way or the other.

Now I admit that the review does have a sour aura about it. Perhaps it was a bit too nasty. Maybe the fault lies in my prose and I didn’t make myself clear. But that’s the effect that The Green Album has. It drops you into a dark place, an uncomfortable place, a place you just want to escape. I would have paid money for someone to just take it away and let me abstain from my duties as a critic. But alas, I could not, and I forged ahead. Some remarks were perhaps too bilious, but I had to nurse my wounds somehow. I tried to use humor, but some found it too derisive and lashed back. I apologize if I offended anyone but I will not retract a word I said about the quality of the music.

I will make a few admissions. Making assumptions about what sort of people would like this album was unnecessary. Good, honest and intelligent people could very well like The Green Album (though I see no evidence of that on the comment board). And while I admitted in the review that I respected their decision to donate a portion of the profits to environmental projects, I pointed out that they made absolutely no attempt to continue that trend in their lyrics, and remarked that the album’s name was derived from weed slang and not Mother Earth, as they claim. Again, an assumption I believed to be safe, but perhaps unfair. They  could be a pack of Leonardo DiCaprios for all I know, working and fighting to save the planet, but they didn’t express it intelligibly in the songs at all.

Here’s a tip for those who disagree with my critique: approach it in one of three ways. Either a) vent your unintelligible frustrations to friends or fellow KMK fans, b) add a comment to the review that displays your disagreement in a civil and specific manner, or c) just let it go. We can start anew, you know. This is a fresh post. A new, unspoiled page. If you’d like, let’s start a discussion right now about the pros and cons of the album. Let’s be communal and respectful and tell me how I was wrong without resorting to childish namecalling. Because you guys and/or gals who love KMK and posted on the review page are just making it easier to defend my opinion.

P.S. It’s difficult to discern sarcasm in writing, so maybe I’m way off. Maybe all the angry messages are just sly and subversive attempts to prove to me how right I was. For instance, “Fisher” wrote, “Haven't you heard their song "Bring It On" from one of their previous albums you douchebag c--kpopping dumass [sic]? ‘Try to Punk Kottonmouth and get burnt like a wick’.” Doesn’t that prove that these guys write the worst lyrics?

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Comments (13)

November 07, 2008, Michael Craig said:

different strokes for different folks. people are always gona talk down on critics because theyre opinions are usually voiced louder than a regular fan. and the die hard fans are always going to be butt hurt about an opinion that is different than theirs. just look at all the people that defend soulja boy in a souljaboytellem review. but people need to mature up and understand an opinion is an opinion it's not a fact. it's one persons point of view. just because one person doesn't like something doesn't mean everyone won't. instead people like to make themselves look like idiots and can't maintain a debate instead say things like f--k YEAH SMOKE WEED I HOPE YOU DIE KMK 4LIFE!!!111 if they're catching feelings that bad over a review they're the ones that really need to go smoke weed.

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November 07, 2008, Matt Medlock said:

	Yeah, sucks. I'm aware of all the trolls and flamers and so on. I was just hoping that at least one person would be able to keep a cool head about it.
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November 07, 2008, Marcus Beasley said:

	I'm still trying to figure out who the hell the Kottonmouth Kings are.
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November 07, 2008, Lex Walker said:

A band of circus folk circa 1467. Back in those days dentistry was by no means an "exact science". Consequentially, patients were often left with bleeding orifices smack dab in the middle of their face after a visit to "the dentist" who was in fact really just a man with a hammer and a knack for ignoring the suffering of others. The term "Cottonmouth King" referred to a time when any royal lord or figure would have a toothache and require this charlatan's services. Often for days afterwards the royal figure would be rendered voiceless and laws and edicts would come to a complete halt leading to a rise in civil unrest. These Cottonmouth Kings rarely remained in power after these periods. Over time the lower peasants subverted the phrase by cleverly putting a 'k' where the 'c' should be in cotton. Those cunning linguists.

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November 07, 2008, Tyler Barlass said:

	Very interesting. I had no idea...
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November 07, 2008, Marcus Beasley said:

A band of circus folk circa 1467. Back in those days dentistry was by no means an "exact science". Consequentially, patients were often left with bleeding orifices smack dab in the middle of their face after a visit to "the dentist" who was in fact really just a man with a hammer and a knack for ignoring the suffering of others. The term "Cottonmouth King" referred to a time when any royal lord or figure would have a toothache and require this charlatan's services. Often for days afterwards the royal figure would be rendered voiceless and laws and edicts would come to a complete halt leading to a rise in civil unrest. These Cottonmouth Kings rarely remained in power after these periods. Over time the lower peasants subverted the phrase by cleverly putting a 'k' where the 'c' should be in cotton. Those cunning linguists. Well thank Mr. Peabody.

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November 07, 2008, Matt Medlock said:

	Kottonmouth Kings are actually cross-bred snake species as spelled by Krusty the Clown. About as accurate as Lex's very funny proposal. Kudos.
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November 17, 2008, Dean said:

Hello Matt, I think you are being hypocritical, which is the very last thing a critic wants to be! You have your opinion but you were also too harsh in you review. How would you like people bagging your music to that point? You can't expect to write a review like that and not get criticised for it. Now you've said your opinion, this is mine.... I think you're a substandard critic for making such an emotionally challenging review about a band whom you have never listented to before. Get him off the site! (That won't happen though because his fellow staff and managers of this web-site observe the opportunity for money-making (i.e. extra profit) from drawing attention to the site via causing controversy!) Peace and love everybody.

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November 18, 2008, Saul Berenbaum said:

No, Dead. It won't happen because he did absolutely nothing wrong and deserves no penalization of any kind. I've given review scores as low as his review, and so have the three other most prolific writers on the site at one point or another. I gave The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor a rating of 2 out of 10. Now you want to know how I would feel if someone gave my movie a 2 out of 10? Here's how I would feel: Intrigued. Intrigued as to why. I would expect Rob Cohen, the director of Mummy 3, to feel the same way if he saw my review, and not personally comment on such a poor rating like a pathetic, angry little man like the lead singer of Kottonmouth Kings did to Matt. I would expect a director a prolific as Cohen to show some restraint, at the very least. The Kottonmouth Kings have had, what, ten albums already? Do they really need to put down every harsh critic of one of their albums? Matt simply didn't like the music - to each his own. And we're sure as hell not gonna "Get him off the site!" for voicing his honest opinion as clearly as he could. Peace and love.

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November 18, 2008, Saul Berenbaum said:

	Woah, sorry about that, Dean. Spelled your name wrong up there. My bad.
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November 18, 2008, Matt Medlock said:

Hello Dean. Thank you for being relatively civil in your response. However, I'm still waiting for just one person to tell me just one specific thing they liked about the music of the Green Album. And the points you try to make confuse me. I don't think you know what hypocritical means, because nothing I have written rings of hypocrisy. How could it? And you say I'm too harsh in my review. Am I supposed to sugar-coat my criticisms? If I passionately dislike something, I shall be honest about it. I tried leavening it with humor, but apparently it all went over everyone's head or it struck too close to home and simply pissed people off. Finally, you refer to my "emotionally challenging review." Um, what? Are you saying I'm unemotional or that my writing targets and engages people's emotions. I doubt anyone would agree with the first charge--apparently, I'm too "mean" in my prose to be "objective" (the opposite of a critic's duty)--and the second one is obvious and kinda the point--what I said has elicited quite the emotional response (the kind leaning towards hatred). If it's the latter, then I'm glad. I wanted to be clear how terrible I thought the album was. P.S. It's best not to close with "peace and love everybody" when you're begging for my termination. That sounds like hypocrisy.

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November 24, 2008, Edward RP Bryant said:

Well you did ask for a supporting opinion...... I purchased the CD in the middle of November in Yuma, AZ @ the Best Buy on my way back to San Diego. I never purchased a KMK album before but, was curious after I read about it in your review. Yes,...I enjoyed it! I listenend, head banged, cringed, and laughed till the last track was finished. The album lasted all the way somewhere near Laguna Juntion which I thought was an amazing value on a "cost per track basis". There are two songs that stand out IMO and that is the #8 and #10 track. I'm an electrical engineer in my thirties whom appreciates a wide range of music and I'm being honest when I state that this album made me smile more than a few times during the trip back home. Have not listened to it since but, if in the the right mood will throw it back on for giggles.

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November 26, 2008, Matt Medlock said:

Glad you enjoyed it, Edward. If it was in fact their intention to be silly/stupid, they should have just gone all the way and been a Bloodhound Gang clone. At least that might have been tolerable. But I see little evidence of that in their music. And I certainly understand where you're coming from when you said you "cringed." Hope everyone else who purchased it felt the same as you. I'd hate to think that anyone was wasting their money.

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