When I first heard that there is a movie called I Sell the Dead, I’d assumed it to be a metaphorical title. Perhaps it’s a psychological thriller about a dying man bargaining his last days; could be a sensitive drama about an EMT’s career guilt; or maybe it’s an allegorical fantasy that examines the link between modern consumerism and the death of the American dream!
But no, it’s just a movie about two guys who sell zombies to mad scientists. Feh.
Okay, so maybe it’s not the Bergmanesque examination on mortality one assume must be hiding behind such a simple explanatory titling, but what I Sell the Dead lacks in existential tableau, it makes up for in goofy fun. The film opens in Victorian England with the guillotine execution of grave robber Willie Grimes (a grimy Larry Fessenden). His partner Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan, typically callow) waits out his remaining hours in a dark cell, recounting his life as a grave robber to visiting priest Father Duffy (Ron Perlman using a spotty Irish accent). Through this framing device, the film conveniently jumps to Arthur and Willie’s greatest hits as corpse thieves—most involve lucrative encounters with supernatural beings, which rate higher on the market than inert cadavers.
Sometimes they find a sleeping vampire. One time they unearth an alien’s grave. Many times they have to go wrangle zombies. Ah, the glamorous life of a grave robber. More dangerous than any of those creatures, however, is a homicidal gang of rival tomb raiders who don’t appreciate competition. Our two heroes aren't exactly heroes, either. They value money over decency and have no problem ruining a wake just to get the freshest body possible.
I can see a series potential here—the eager anti-hero and his grumpy mentor catching a different monster to sell each week—made more apparent by the film’s episodic vignettes, though writer/director Glenn McQuaid cleverly inserts running ties in Arthur and Willie’s adventures so as to maintain a singular narrative that binds them.
I Sell the Dead isn’t consistently a hit with the humor, but it's still a solid horror-comedy that packs enough slapstick to push it past its second-act slump. It also has delightfully campy performances from its leads, including a less-active-than-usual Ron Perlman, whose character is not in the film much at all but plays an important part later on. The film also earns points for its lively period setting, giving extra novelty to the supernatural capers.
