2009 Nickelodeon KCA Or Better Known As Disney's Free Publicity And How It Destroys Our Culture

Ok, before I go off on my tangent I want you to know that I am aware this is a kids show and that is it meant for kids between the ages of 0 to 15 or so, but it still is becoming just like a lot of "award" shows, a big publicity sham. Disney ran away with award after award from their T.V. and movie and music section all while continuously promoting their own stuff throughout the commercials and during the show even. What I have the real problem with is some of the "winners" and how repulsive these "role models" have become. The goal of these programs nowadays is to market themselves while doing it on their own show and getting paid for it, it's like porn, we all love it and we all do it so why not get paid for it eh? Although porn is a funny comparison as this is also a tool used to market to the young girls out there with such acts as the Jonas Brothers and to this I am totally disgusted and here's why...


We all saw the South Park episode with the Jonas Brothers (I refuse to use Bros for them as it is reserved for the Mario's) and how Mickey was basically pimping them out for money all while knowing that these "purity rings" would make it not only attractive, but seem heart felt to parents. It is all a shame and Matt Stone and Trey Parker called them out. To let you know, if the Jonas Brothers go on your talk show this is one of the many questions you are not allowed to ask them, really fun interview isn't it? Let's be honest, that squeaky clean front man of theirs Joe Jonas, is dating Camilla Belle who let's be honest, is smokin' hot. Do you really think you could date a girl like that without laying some Dr. Mahattan sized blue pipe (Watchmen pun, go see the movie if you haven't)? The answer is probably no, but oh dear lord sex is so terrible in this country, it is the devil! It's actually one of the most important functions not only in human life, but the friggin ecosystem. If things are bumpin' then nothing prospers and grows. Think if trees and flowers had the same retarded thought process as human, we would all probably suffocate because they would want to wait until tree marriage to fornicate. If you don't know trees produce oxygen which helps us live, I hope no one was confused with that previous sentence. My point is that their promoting sex without actually doing it. It is pure hypocrisy.

Ok I got that off my chest, now to the "awards" show. Again I will reiterate, I know this is a KIDS choice award show and they "voted" for the winners and it is mostly young girls who do it, but I have to do this. Let's start with favorite male singer, your noms were Jesse McCartney, Kid Rock and T-Pain. What in the hell kind of line-up for favorite singer was that? McCartney isn't a bad vocalist, I'll admit it, but Kid Rock??? His role model ability is what? Kids if you grow up drinking, smoking, Chris Browning (that's right I made it an adjective) your woman and hanging out with a midget you can make it in life kids, oh and all with really no talent whatsoever. T-Pain is pretty decent when it comes to hip-hop, but what kind of role models does the hi-hop society bring? very few worthwhile ones and surprise there arn't many here. If you care McCartney won and got slimed (oh so original 20 years later!).

This one really irks me, for favorite female singer we have as fallows; Alicia Keys (what have you done lately besides under-achieve?), Beyonce (what happened to your less talented alter ego, Sasha Fierce?), Miley Cyrus (Where's the talent? I still can't find it), and finally Rihanna (Yes, Rihanna can teach our young woman that if a man beats you it is ok to go back to him make a love song together, shack up together again and oh yeah get gun tattoos on yourself in the middle of all that). Miley Cyrus won and wow was that surprising. I thought Rihanna would win, they would have had a great pic of the dramatic diva to put up for her award cause she couldn't be there while attending physical therapy. I have always thought Beyonce has relied on her looks due to her lack of real talent. She can dance like a mother fu*ker no doubt, but when it comes to good lyrics and dance/sing combo ability even J-Lo blows her ass out of the water. Alicia Keys got a big head after her big hit album several years ago and has ditched her piano at televised shows in order to be sexier and show off that bod. Problem is there isn't much to show off and her ability to shake and bake is as bad as Michael J. Fox's. As for Miley, here's a news flash, your dad was the "Achy Breaky Heart" guy who only found fame because a dumbass turned down that song. Not only was he wasteful in my eyes, but her growing diva attitude has Disney getting scared and is starting to piss off a lot of people. When she said she would ruin Radiohead because they refused to meet her, she crossed the line of little girl who is still learning to psycho diva bitch.

Oh here's the big shockers! Best actress noms were as fallows; Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon and Vanessa Hudgens. Hudgens won. Are you fu*king kidding me...she has such little talent and acting ability I don't think she could act her way out of Uwe Boll movie. Speaking of which I don't think he would even want her in a film becauseĀ  of how bad she is. I understand that every 10 year old girl goes apesh*t for High School Musical but, we have to be honest to our children, these people can't act a lick. Dancing around and singing a retarded song while giving the fake view that high school is awesome and there is nothing better (Dawson's Creek?) will in fact, fu*k our youth's future up. High school is a cess pool for racism, hate, drugs, violence, bullying, and over all immoral behavior. I myself am not moral by any means, but high school is in no way moral. It teaches you to take down the weak, exceed at everything and be better than everyone. Don't believe me? Watch HSM (any of the series) and watch the character Sharpay (Tisdale) and her blatant homosexual brother Ryan (Grabeel) as they try to destroy Troy and Gabriella's relationship so Sharpay can have Troy, oh so tween! Alas, this is a kids awards show so Will Smith won an award too, just had to throw in the obvious.

look you can sit here and go, "Is he dumb? This is a kids show of coarse they will want to see their favorite tweenie idols win and perform." And while you may say that, you are definitely thinking, "Fu*kin-A finally someone else understands how retarded this whole shabang really is." Ask yourself this, is any of this beneficial? Really not much. Why do we condone this? Silly adolescent behavior from teens and adults alike and scenario's that are just plain dumb. The talent of all these combined "actors" and "actresses" equals about one iota of George Clooney's ego (and that thing is huge!). If you really look at what is brought to the table, it disturbs you and gives some false kind of hope that you can do whatever you want because Hannah Montana said you can! It is all a farce. I wanted to play third base for the Cinncinnati Reds and here is a hint to that end, my name is not Edwin Encarnacion. We need to be realistic and honest with our children, that doesn't mean they cannot have their fun little crap like The Wiggles or any of that it just means that we can't keep feeding them lies. It is almost as bad as MTV still having the gull to consider themselves "Music" television. I am going to start a petition to have MTV change itself to RTV so they are forced to face their Frankenstein. They have become the harbingers for Reality T.V. and it must be stopped at all costs.

If you take away anything from my article it is this; don't dislike without reason and use your evidence to put it forth. I dislike these people for many a reason and consider their success that of luck. If you remember Disney's original child stars Lindsey Lohan and Hillary Duff you can see where their Disney stardom has led them too. Lohan is a hardcore partyholic and druggy and has been switch hitting more than an MLB batter. Lesbian, straight, lesbian, straight, pick something already! Lohan has done several more than terrible films and has allowed her psycho parents to control and ruin her life. Don't forget her short lived singing career in which she was just dreadful. Why people bought her album I will never know, but them again the general populace are morons and will eat up anything.

Hillary Duff who had less talent than even Lohan, was Lizzie McGuire for most of her professional life before venturing out of Disney's womb to be a singer which was just as short lived as Lohan's. Duff has since fell off the face of the earth and just like any distraught former teen idol, colored her hair to "rebel." in both cases, both former starlets fell off of the universe wheather it be by choice or chance it happened. The point is, every one of these teens will be replaced in 5 years with another cutsie baby faced annoying brat I can dislike. Either way just ask yourself this; does this benefit us?

Mar
29
2009
Sean Anthony

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