Of Course: McG vs Michael Bay Was a Conspiracy

This summer, two of the biggest tentpoles are Sci-Fi sequels involving robots. Naturally, both films want to be the robot movie of 2009, so some piss and vinegar are to be expected. A few months back, Transformers director Michael Bay took a snipe at Terminator Salvation's trailer for having a giant robot in it, calling it a rip-off. Terminator director McG responded back by saying Bay didn't invent giant robots (REALLY?!).

Some fanboys sided with either franchise, most simply groaned, while movie blogs had a field day laughing at Bay and McG's eight-grade dispute. But were they playing right into the two robot masters' hands? Bay confirmed that they were indeed.

The rivalry did get awfully weird. Bay publicly said he wants to see the Terminators take on his Transformers, then McG hurled an insult saying Bay's movie is based on a toy, they went back and forth, and before Voltron fans could get a word in, suddenly there's a dick measuring contest. Yes, a literal one. McG, believing he has the bigger schlong, told Details mag:

"If he's up for it, we can both reveal ourselves on the Spartacus steps at Universal and put the question to rest."

Thankfully, McG called off the challenge before the world saw the image of Michael Bay standing nude akimbo in front of an explosion with an "AWESOME SHAFT, AWESOME TIP" smirk on his face.

"Hm. Genius."

The big dick showdown may have been a joke on McG's part, but what about the five month long feud? What kind of idiot actually gets pissy over other people's robot movies? Nobody, according to Bay. It was all a publicity stunt, which really should have been obvious. He told LA Times' Hero Complex blog:

With a wink, he admitted that he phoned McG to turn up the volume. "I told him, 'We're like boxers going at it this summer,' " Bay said. "We have to have some fun with it."

Now that Salvation is out, there's no more need for it. Fans are going to judge with their wallets. I found Terminator to be wholly unsatisfying, so from here on out it's up to Bay to prove that his giant robots are worth something. No unzipping necessary.

Arya Ponto • Contributor

As former Editor of JPP, Arya likes to entertain peeps with his thoughts on pop culture, when he's not busy watching Battle Royale for the 200th time. He lives in Brooklyn with a comic book collection that's always the most daunting thing to move with, and writes for Artboiled.com.


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