As you’ve heard by now, either from last week’s “The Good, The Bad and the WTF” entry or from another source, that Rob Zombie is planning to remake The Blob. The announcement came on the same day as the release of Zombie’s latest film Halloween II—a sequel to a remake of a shambling franchise.
Four years ago, I considered Rob Zombie a visionary talent and a promising filmmaker. Now I’m left wondering what the hell happened. After The Blob, what’s next? Blob II? Then a remake of Sleepaway Camp?
This is the same Rob Zombie who was against this sort of thing earlier in his career, and sought to bring original characters into familiar genres. Sure, his House of 1,000 Corpses cribs a-plenty from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but there’s enough of Zombie’s own colorful vision and wild inventions to separate it from outright cashgrabs like the 2003 remake. In fact, in a 2003 interview, Bloody-Disgusting asked Zombie what he thought of Marcus Nispel’s remake.
“You know - I don’t wish anything bad on these people, I know myself how hard it is to make a movie, but my first reaction was just to wonder what the point of the remake is. I thought the same when they remade Psycho, and now they’re remaking Dawn of the Dead as well. I love the originals so much that I just wonder what the point of doing a remake of these great movies is, what do you hope to improve on?”
To be clear, we all live in the real world. Nobody is going to stop these movies from happening. If Rob Zombie didn’t sign on to the Blob remake, they would just hire Hacky McHackerson or Fresh P. Filmschool to do it. That’s just how it goes. For every fan decrying a remake, there are two who are eager to see an update, and two more who have never even heard of the original. Remakes, reboots and sequels will continue to dominate, because franchises are profitable. The problem, if you can call it that, is with Rob Zombie himself, who delays his own creative growth with these horror remakes.
Revisiting The Devil’s Rejects recently, it’s clear that this is the kind of movie he does best: Southern-fried, no-holds-barred, shock-horror action road movie. It's really its own demented masterpiece. A little bit of Tobe Hooper, a little bit of Sam Peckinpah, a little bit country and a little bit rock n’ roll. I was excited to see him bring this Western-Terror sensibilities to what was supposed to be his next project, Tyrannosaurus Rex. Nothing to do with the dino, Rex was originally rumored to be based on Zombie’s comic book The Nail, about a pro wrestler who takes on a gang of Satanic bikers to protect his family. Now Zombie says that it’s a completely original property, about a washed-up and out of control prize fighter returning from a 14 year stint in prison. He also jokingly described it as “if Every Which Way but Loose was a serious movie. Minus the monkey.” Hmm… Every Which Way but Loose had an evil biker gang, didn't it?
Concept artwork for Tyrannosaurus Rex
The project, unfortunately, is going to have to wait. Zombie has expressed his desire to make Tyrannosaurus Rex his next since The Devil’s Rejects, but he keeps getting sidetracked by more, er, realistic endeavors like Halloween, Halloween II and The Blob.
“The thing is it’s hard to get movies made. It’s virtually impossible. It’s hard to get people to greenlight projects so you sort of take them as they come and try to deal with them,” Zombie told DreadCentral last week, perhaps already anticipating his Blob future.
Halloween II should not have happened. If it had to happen, at least it should have happened without Rob Zombie. I hated his remake, but I’ll admit to liking the no-nonsense straight-up-killing-Michael ending. It’s violent and abrupt, yet finite and explosive, which was oddly satisfying. If a sequel had to happen—which is sadly almost always the case—let someone else tackle it in an unpleasantly cheesy manner. Why have Zombie ruin his own ending? I’m not the only one of this opinion. Rob Zombie, circa 2007, speaking to MTV shortly before the first film’s release:
“I have no plans on watching [Halloween sequels] or making them. My movie has a beginning, a middle and an end — and then I am done. Anything that comes after that? It will not involve me.”
Zombie’s explanation for not keeping that promise had to do with being protective of his reboot after seeing what the sequel in development was going to be like. He didn’t want it to be ruined. He also attributed his initial reservation to fatigue, and that a year off had given him the time to be more open to doing a sequel. Thankfully, we know for sure that he won’t be doing Halloween III. The Weinstein Company has announced that the third Halloween movie in this series will be in 3D, with a new director bringing “a different take” from Zombie’s. Naturally. Why would anyone want to take Zombie’s grimy, grungy approach to 3D? Smell-O-Vision, on the other hand…
After a third place box office spot that took in $10 million less than the original's opening weekend, it’s obvious that they’re looking to settle the score with The Final Destination (which opened the same day and nabbed #1) by taking a more, um, My Bloody Valentine 3D approach. Get ready for Michael Myers jabbing his kitchen knife... AT YOU! Sproing.
For now, Rob Zombie’s long-delayed animated project The Haunted World of El Superbeasto will finally see a release this month. The movie was completed in 2007, but in the two years that followed, Zombie kept adding new material to it as he waited for a release date. El Superbeasto will see a triple release in September: first with a Pay-Per-View and On-Demand debut on the 7th, then a one-night-only theatrical showing on the 12th, and finally a DVD/Blu-ray release on the 22nd.
(A lot of people have complained that Zombie ripped off John K of Ren & Stimpy fame’s look, but that’s actually not quite the case. El Superbeasto is co-directed by Spumco alumnus Doug Lawrence and Carey Yost, both of whom worked on Ren & Stimpy and used that similar style on Spongebob Squarepants)
What else lies in Rob Zombie’s future? Hopefully Tyrannosaurus Rex and other crazy stuff that comes from his mind, rather than one forced project after another. Despite his name, I don’t think Zombie has to be confined to the horror genre. Sure, you probably won’t see a Rob Zombie family film anytime soon, but you can count on dark comedies or action movies from him, right?
In a September 2007 interview with Entertainment Weekly, where he again denied any interest in making a Halloween sequel, Zombie uttered this piece of wisdom:
“You just have to stick to your guns. I think when people try to chase trends or second-guess what audiences want, it gets them in trouble. You just got to do your thing.”
Sigh. Well said, Rob...
