Josh Olson is the Oscar-nominated writer of the brilliant A History of Violence. Josh Olson is also a hero, who performed a great service to writers everywhere, professional and aspiring alike. Yesterday, Olson launched a brutally honest article on the Village Voice with the confrontational title "I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script."
Just what is it that got him so riled up? What's the deal with giving an advice? Because it's not advice, it's a review. As anyone who has ever done it can tell you, reading a script—even a good one, which it most likely won't be—and really critiquing, taking the time to honestly tell the writer how crappy you think his writing is without offending him, is not just hard work. It's a commitment.
Professional screenwriters and directors—especially famous ones—are prime targets for cornering by complete strangers, who think they are pursuing something, when in fact they're torturing their idols. I'll let Olson explain:
Yes, we bonded, and yes, I wish you luck in all your endeavors, and it would thrill me no end to hear that you had sold your screenplay, and that it had been made into the best movie since Godfather Part II.
But I will not read your fucking script.
At this point, you should walk away, firm in your conviction that I'm a dick. But if you're interested in growing as a human being and recognizing that it is, in fact, you who are the dick in this situation, please read on.
Yes. That's right. I called you a dick. Because you created this situation. You put me in this spot where my only option is to acquiesce to your demands or be the bad guy. That, my friend, is the very definition of a dick move.
He does have a way with not sugarcoating words, does he? Olson appeared on a panel with David Hayter and Gregory Noveck at Comic-Con this year, where he at one point asked people who paid to see Transformers 2 to raise their hands, then asked the others to punch those people. The whole thing was moderated and recorded by Creative Screenwriting, which you can listen to here. It's a very entertaining panel.
Olson's piece is not exclusively "Get away from me, amateurs!" repulsion, though. In fact, it's hardly about that, at all. Read the whole thing here. There are gems regarding the thick skin and perseverance any aspiring writer should know about. Ironically, Olson took time to give very valuable advice by writing this rant about not wanting to (of course, the Voice probably paid him for it) *. It's really good stuff, and essential reading for anyone who dares to call themselves a writer.
Not surprisingly, people left nasty comments on the article. Many resort to bashing Olson's own writing, as if the wisdom of what he's saying is in any way contingent to the quality of his films. More disturbing are the ones who don't even seem to understand what screenwriting is about (hint: purple prose does you jack squat).
If you think that's acceptable, then I expect you to not refuse or find it irritating when random strangers stop you in the streets and ask you to build them a shed.
Plenty of people in Hollywood make bank doing this sort of thing—the doctors and gurus and seminar speakers. The reason they can charge money to read a script and share their thought? Because 1) it's time-consuming, and 2) it took a lot to gain the insight needed. Many budding screenwriters don't understand this, because they're used to the kind of critiquing their friends and family would give them. The soft ball kind. When they hear the truth, they dismiss it as rudeness. It begs the question why Olson or pros like him should bother.
That's why the skill of pitching is important, kids. Should you be so lucky that you are having a conversation with a pro, and they tell you they have time for you, you pitch them your story briskly, and hopefully you read some enthusiasm that indicates that the person is honest about wanting to read it and not just saying that to prevent you from making a scene. This advice I offer gratis, since that's probably what it's worth, anyway.
Thank you for writing this, Mr. Olson.
* UPDATE: Josh Olson wrote us a nice letter informing us that he was not, in fact, paid for the article. He tried getting it on the major screenwriting mags but was rejected by all. The Voice offered to publish it and Olson "jumped at the chance. I just wanted to get it out there.... and man, did it get out there."
