SCREAM 2009 Recap: Reign of the Vampires and Space Crews

2009

True to its name, the Scream Awards is an award show where the winners are decided by the biggest scream, like talent shows of olden days, before text messaging and toll-free numbers were invented. In this case, Scream winners are decided by internet votes. It's not surprising to then see current trend-grabbing vampires dominate the show; but the awards, it seemed, are secondary. The highlights of the night are all the honorary awards, celebrating the legends of their own mediums.

It was a little disconcerting to notice that the award winners were all telegraphed by the adoring cheers of the audience, too. The more enthusiastic the cheers, the likelier for that person to win. Vampires are definitely in this year, with notable appearances/wins for Twilight, True Blood, The Vampire's Assistant and Let the Right One In.

The most telling part of the award show being entertainment first-recognition second is the fact that they didn't bother going through presenting the award if the winner(s) didn't attend, the only exception being Hugh Jackman, who taped his acceptance speech for Best Superhero win. The Harry Potter cast won Best Ensemble, but none of them showed up so the award didn't appear as part of the show. Ditto with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's predictable wins as Best Fantasy Actor and Actress.

Other winners that were no-shows include Winona Ryder (Best Cameo), Chris Pine (Best Science Fiction Actor), Ryan Reynolds (Best Supporting Actor), Zachary Quinto (Fight Scene of the Year), Steve McNiven (Best Comic Book Artist) , Linkin Park (Scream Song of the Year), or anyone from Let the Right One In (Best Foreign Movie).

Winning highlights

  • There was a slightly awkward moment when Megan Fox accepted the Best Science Fiction Actress award for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. She got to the mic and immediately launched into what sounded like an obviously publicist-scripted apology, addressing the recent reports of her disrespect for Michael Bay and the movie itself. Fox stressed her undying gratitude to Bay for picking her out of obscurity and making her a star, then stated, "I'm just an ordinary part of an extraordinary movie." We're still talking about Transformers 2, right?
  • Speaking of Transformers 2, of all the cringeworthy wins of the night, the oddest has got to be Isabel Lucas' Breakout Performance—Female win for her Slutty Terminator role in the film. Nothing particularly wrong with giving the girl her moment (she seemed to be the only one nervous and genuinely honored by winning), but one has to wonder why anyone would find that moronic subplot deserving of anything at all.
  • True Blood bagged a bunch of awards and offered some pretty cute quotes. Alexander Skarsgard, who won Best Villain and had to hunch his back to speak to the low-rised mic, thanked the fans for making him the most evil man in Hollywood, adding that his mother would appreciate that. Stephen Moyer won Best Horror Actor and limped onstage with a cane. Speaking in his native British accent, Moyer quipped that he's channeling his inner Hugh Laurie. His fiancee Anna Paquin also won Best Horror Actress and thanked the show for being a terrific matchmaker. Finally, accepting for Best TV Show, Alan Ball remarked that Scream is "the most fucked up award show [he's] ever been to." It certainly had a different vibe than the Oscars, didn't it, Alan?
  • Harrison Ford, who presented the Best Director award to J.J. Abrams for Star Trek, was introduced by the announcer as "Hero, legend, badass."
  • Zombieland has only been in theaters for 2 weeks, but it's already received an award. Woody Harrelson accepted the Breakout Movie of the Year award by offering an unpopular confession: that he hates horror movies, because they scare him. "I stopped watching TV after Poltergeist. I quit surfing after I watched Jaws. And I haven't been in a kitchen since Julie & Julia," Woody joked. He also apologized to zombie fans for killing so many of them in the movie.

So say we all, good bye...

The cast of The Big Bang Theory represented the geeks by showing a much appreciated tribute for Battlestar Galactica, as the show bows out for good this year. Yelling in unison, the Big Bang-ers gave the crowd a warning: "To anyone who doesn't like BSG, we've got two words for you... FRAK YOU!"

Edward James Olmos, always the inspiring Admiral, led other cast members like  Tahmoh Penikett and James Callis for the acceptance, once again selling Battlestar's importance. “Blade Runner was accepted more on its 30th birthday than the day it was born. BSG will be the same,” Olmos speechified, looking confident even with that daunting comparison. “We love you fans more than you love us. So say we all!” Olmos orchestrated the crowd to chant the show's space equivalent of an amen, something he had been doing in other BSG tributes, most notably Comic-Con and the United Nations panel.

The braaaaaains behind it all

Presenting horror legend George A. Romero with a sort of lifetime's achievement award, dubbed the Mastermind Award, is none other than Quentin Tarantino. A great director in his own right, but more importantly, an unabashed fan of genre films and a great admirer of Romero's work, which he showed by namechecking Martin, Creepshow and the Dead movies as his inspirations.

"In 1968, George declared that the Summer of Love is over!" Tarantino bellowed with a well-placed chop. Referring, of course, to Romero's supremely inspirational first film, Night of the Living Dead. As always, Tarantino's enthusiasm, as hilariously silly as it may appear, transferred over to the audience. It helped that he made wacky statements like "George A. Romero—as far as I'm concerned, that 'A' stands for 'A. Fucking. Genius!'" and "But George Romero is not an evil mastermind. He is a MOVIE mastermind!"

This definitely ended up being the most entertaining segment of the night. They played an awesome montage of Tom Savini and KNB's incredible gore effects in Romero's movies over the years. When the montage ended, a zombie dressed in a tux sat down at a grand old piano to play the Creepshow theme as Romero walk out onto the stage. Is there anything cooler? At this point, Tarantino passed the spotlight onto the man of the hour with an announcement worthy of an emperor.

"Ladies and gentlemen and flesh eaters alike, I give you The Mastermind... George A. Romero! ON YOUR FEEEEET!"

Romero told the audience that his first showbiz gig was on the TV show Mr. Roger's Neighborhood 40 years ago, and he's not done yet—he's still making movies today. There was a funny moment when Romero plugged his new zombie movie under the wrong name.

"There's another Dead movie that's coming, it's called Resurrection of the Dead... Sorry, Survival of the Dead. We've been arguing about this title. So it's called Survival of the Dead."

Coming up Shat

Star Trek reigned over Scream coming in with a total of 17 nominations. So to show their gratitude, Enterprise crew members John Cho and Karl Urban came out to show a deleted scene from the movie; one we've already heard a lot about, which is Nero's escape from a Klingon prison planet.

The scene begins with Nero chained to a table, being interrogated by a Klingon  prison guard wearing a Predator-like helmet, who wants to know what Nero wants with Ambassador Spock and the weapon in his possession (the red matter). Nero is tortured with the same Centaurian slug he later uses against Pike. Nero resits and makes quick work of the guards in the room, breaking out and running over to his sidekick Ayel, followed by the shot prominently featured in all the previews: "The wait is over."

Later in the night, Star Trek won the Ultimate Scream award. Instead of giving it to director J.J. Abrams, none other than William Shatner was "beamed" onto the stage. Shatner accepted with a straight face and expressed his thanks, as if he was actually involved in the film, then: "I accept this award on behalf of the cast and crew of Star Trek V—which I directed and starred in."

Shatner admitted that he still has not seen the new Star Trek, but believes that it would have been an even bigger movie had he been in it (a joke that's surely only said half-jokingly). He then begged directly to Abrams, sitting in the audience, to put him in the sequel. The tickled Abrams nodded and gave Shatner the thumbs up.

Look out! Here comes the icon man...

The night closed with the Comic-Con Icon award, presented to Marvel legend Stan Lee by Tobey Maguire. Stan descended on the stage in an elaborate fashion, riding a big Spider-Man logo that hovers above the audience from a glowing spider web at the back of the auditorium. Upon reaching the stage (which took a comically looong time), Stan quickly joked that he wanted to ride the Silver Surfer's board instead, but it was out on repair. Stan showed his humble side by insisting that he didn't deserve the award and that it was Tobey Maguire and Sam Raimi who really "created" Spider-Man. You can hear the comic fans shaking their heads already.

Stan thanked organizations like Spike and Comic-Con for keeping comics in the public eye and telling the world how cool they are. He reminisced about the old days, when his colleagues and him were too embarrassed to admit that they worked in comics. They would say that they made children's books. What kind of children's books? Periodicals. What kind of periodicals? Finally, they would admit that they did comic books and people would leave.

"But now, when I go to a party, people would say, 'Excuse me, President Obama, but I think that’s Stan Lee over there!'"

All he wanted, however, is to have a longer cameo in the Spidey movies. Upon realizing that Sam Raimi is sitting in the audience, Stan called the acceptance speech his audition and asked Raimi to give him a bigger role in Spider-Man 4. From his seat, Raimi yelled out "You got it!"

Finally, Stan Lee closed the night with his famous catchphrase, "Excelsior!"

Next Page: List of winners



Oct
19
2009
Arya Ponto • Contributor

As former Editor of JPP, Arya likes to entertain peeps with his thoughts on pop culture, when he's not busy watching Battle Royale for the 200th time. He lives in Brooklyn with a comic book collection that's always the most daunting thing to move with, and writes for Artboiled.com.

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