Welcome to the absurd. The Seventh Curse is one of the most unreasonably entertaining B-movies you'll see out of Hong Kong, mainly because it’s so fucking insane. The names involved already promises a bastard of a movie; with a screenplay by low-brow legend Wong Jing (who has written and directed over 100 movies, including the God of Gamblers series and a couple of Jet Li films), and directed by Ngai Kai Lam (the director of cult favorite Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky).
I stumbled onto The Seventh Curse somewhat by accident many years ago, when I was on a Chow Yun Fat binge. I didn’t even realize who the director was at first; but was then pleasantly surprised, needless to say. This one, I dare say, actually tops Riki-Oh in terms of being completely over-the-top, which anyone who has seen Riki-Oh can tell you, is a feat worthy of the Louvre.
There’s a Hong Kong pulp author by the name of Ai Hong, whose two most popular recurring characters are Dr. Yuen (played in this movie by Chin Siu Hou) and Professor Wisely (played here by Chow Yun Fat). Dr. Yuen is an M.D. whose bravery and martial arts skills are legendary. How legendary? Well, this movie opens with a hostage situation, and the SWAT team calls Dr. Yuen to help them take down the terrorists. Wisely, on the other hand, is an Indiana Jones-type character who specializes in the occult. The idea behind this movie is to unite these two characters in an epic adventure (the original Chinese title is actually Dr. Yuen and Wisely).
The plot is of the Allan Quatermain native-gone-wild variety, with some Evil Dead 2 thrown in. Dr. Yuen is dying from a horrific disease he contracted in Thailand. In order to reverse it, he must go back there and retrieve the eyes of a giant Buddha statue, for something or other. Of course, he recruits Wisely’s help in the matter. Bully for them, the Thai jungle is full of demonic cults trying to kill them. Cue huge gunfights and kung fu brawls, seasoned with plenty of gore and gratuitous nudity.
There is a bunch of really nonsensical occult stuff here that are just downright hilarious. When a certain character gets possessed, the cure is to kill 7 different animals and take a bath in a mixture of their blood. There is also a little flying ghoul that climbs into people’s bodies and bursts out of their stomachs. The cult members kidnap small children and flatten them in a trash compacter, after which the ghoul emerges from their pool of blood. Yep.
No, seriously, this movie is nuts
The Buddha statue scene alone is reason enough to track this movie down. It’s not only a nuisance to climb, but it also has deadly booby traps—like spears coming out its body or a dozen kung fu-fighting monks sitting on its arm. No explanation needed; the statue just has monks chilling on it, in case someone needed their asses whooped. As a bonus, after retrieving the eyes, what do you know, its head falls off and starts chasing the heroes, in true Raiders of the Lost Ark fashion. Brilliant.
The only unfortunate thing about The Seventh Curse is that the movie's premise is a con. The title is Dr. Yuen and Wisely, you have Dr. Yuen and Wisely posing on the DVD cover, and yet Wisely doesn't really join the adventure. He arrives in Thailand way too late, and he mostly just orders people around. He even stays in camp for the most of it, waiting for Dr. Yuen to come back. Because of this, Chow Yun Fat has a lot less screen time than anyone would’ve preferred—though he does get to do some badass stuff in his brief appearances and steal the show.
It’s too bad that neither Netflix or Blockbuster are carrying the film at the moment, but there are still ways to get your hands on this madcap gem. Like sellers on Amazon
Watch Out! is a feature on JustPressPlay where Arya Ponto showcases lesser-known, lesser-appreciated and often bizarre small films that are cool and deserve to get some attention. Venture here to see all previous entries.
