John Keith

Staff Writer

Writer. TV Addict. Bibliophile. Reviewer. Pop Culture Consumer. Vampire Enthusiast. LOST fanatic.

Follow on Twitter



"Scooby-Doo! Wrestlemania Mystery" Delivers Exactly What It Promises Review

In this collaborative film, the Scooby-Doo team works with WWE to tell an animated crossover story. Scooby (Frank Welker) and Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) obsessively play a WWE video game, and when Scooby beats it on the hardest level and successfully completes an elaborate victory dance, he wins admittance to WWE City. While Fred (Welker), Velma (Mind Cohn), and Daphne (Grey DeLisle) are hesitant to go on a road trip to the wrestling capital, Shaggy manages to guilt them into doing something he wants to do for once (because, obviously, Shaggy and Scooby can’t go out in public without adult supervision).

Apr
19
2014
Read more

Take A Trip Into "The Past" Review

The latest film by Asghar Farhadi, The Past, could have used the same title as his last film A Separation. Ahmad (Ali Mosaffa) returns to Paris to finalize his divorce with Marie (Berenice Bejo) after a four-year separation. But when he returns to his old home, he finds that a lot has changed.

Marie has taken up with a new man, Samir (Tahar Rahim), who comes with his own baggage. He has a wife, who is currently in a coma. And his presence creates tension in Marie’s relationship with her daughter Lucie (Pauline Burlet), who is not actually related to Ahmad (but to a derelict in Brussels). However, because Ahmad is the closest to a father figure in Lucie’s life, he attempts to reconcile the differences between Lucie and Marie. But he uncovers even more secrets in the process.

Apr
18
2014
Read more

Dear God, Let This Be "The Last Mission" Review

If you, like me, missed the 2008 Jason Statham medieval action flick In the Name of the King (based on the Dungeon Siege video games) then you probably also missed its less “prestigious” 2011 sequel In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds. All of which to say, you probably were not holding out for the rumored threequel In the Name of the King 3: The Last Mission starring Prison Break’s Dominic Purcell, which has finally been released on Blu-ray. Nevertheless, Uwe Boll’s tireless series continues to adapt this medieval video game series.

Apr
10
2014
Read more

Get Your Feet Planted On "Terrafirma" Review

On the small island of Linosa, not far from Sicily, fishing has become a dying occupation. Elderly Ernesto (Mimmo Cuticchio) seems to be the only holdout still attempting to make money in that field. When Ernesto’s boat is badly damaged, his son Nino (Giuseppe Fiorello) urges him to sell the boat and start a new life instead of wasting his time in repairing it. But it’s his daughter-in-law Giuletta (Donatella Finocchiaro) who convinces him to sell the boat when she takes charge of their lives, along with that of her son Filippo (Filippo Pucillo), after the three-year anniversary memorial service for her husband’s death at sea.

Apr
10
2014
Read more

Bring Your Pajamas; We're Having A "Slumber Party Massacre" Review

In this 1982 ode to Roger Corman’s B films, a group of high school girls have a slumber party that quickly turns deadly. Director Amy Holden Jones pays homage to the exploitation films of the time, using her own feminist perspective (along with screenwriter Rita Mae Brown’s) to add parody and satire to the entire production. The humor was lost on audiences when it was initially released, but its eventual cult status has led to multiple sequels and this Blu-ray rerelease.

Apr
09
2014
Read more

"End Of The World", But Not The Disaster Movie Cliches Review

The best advice the characters in End of the World have for surviving the impending apocalypse is taken from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: don’t panic and always bring a towel. Of course, that isn’t the only bit of a-pop-alyptic culture trivia they know. Because this group of stunted adult males forms the quintessential movie nerd gang who runs a DVD rental store. Fortunately, their extensive knowledge of disaster movies will come in handy when the sky begins to shower electro-magnetic blasts in this SyFy TV movie.

Apr
09
2014
Read more

"Blue" Is That Much Warmer on Criterion Review

Pretty much any film with a lesbian sex scene captures pop culture’s attention. But Blue Is the Warmest Color is one of those films that transcends any social media punchline in its portrayal of a very real and romantic (and heartbreaking) coming of age story. The film, adapted from a graphic novel by Julie Maroh, swept the Cannes last year winning the Palme d’Or not only for director Abdellatif Kechiche but also for the stars Adele Exarchopoulos and Lea Seydoux (making them the only women to ever win the award other than Jane Campion). With so much positive buzz surrounding the film it’s baffling how it failed to snag an Oscar nomination (although the film that did win the Oscar, The Great Beauty, also had its own Criterion release recently).

Apr
03
2014
Read more

"Haunter" Fades Into The Background Review

The horror film Haunter is not an origin story of that gaseous purple Pokemon but another take on the haunted house trope. Lisa (Abigail Breslin, reprising the role of emo teen that she started in August: Osage County) finds herself trapped in a Groundhog Day nightmare, reliving the same dreary 1980s Sunday whilst being the only one of her family to even notice that they’re trapped in a time loop. In fact, she’s so hyper-conscious of the daily repetitions that she becomes alarmed when certain things become altered.

Apr
03
2014
Read more

"Kiss The Water" Kisses Greatness Review

Kiss the Water is subtitled “A Love Story.” But what, exactly, is the love story at the heart of this documentary? Is it about the love that expert and renowned (at least in Scotland) fishing fly maker Megan Boyd had for her craft? Is it about the love that fishermen have for their sport and the fishing flies that aid them? Or is it about the love that documentary filmmaker Eric Steel has for lyrical, poetic filmmaking? The answer could be any or all of the above.

Mar
09
2014
Read more

"Nurse Jackie" Remains An Easy Pill To Swallow Review

Last season saw Jackie (Emmy winner Edie Falco) tackling rehab for her incredible drug addiction; so what could be left for Jackie this season? Sobriety, of course. And, as the producers tease in one of the special features: consequences. Jackie is back to work at All Saints (after being fired last season) and must face backlash from her actions these past seasons while also fighting to stay sober in a world full of pills. No easy task, right? Especially when you’ve left rehab early.

Mar
09
2014
Read more

"Indie Director"'s Title Too Ironic For Its Own Good Review

Indie Director is an indie film about an indie director making indie movies. Except that the director (played by Bill Zebub—that can’t be his real name, can it?) makes movies that are frequently mistaken for porn. That’s an easy thing to do considering he requires women to be topless in all of his films, claiming that no matter how boring the film becomes, there will always be boobs to look at. Stepping aside (for a moment) from the implications of that, I can understand the place he’s coming from (especially when the reverse is true).

As despicable as his film-making is—he not only requires women to be in various states of undress at all time but he also verbally abuses them in the name of getting a better performance—director Bill’s goal to achieve mainstream distribution is an admirable goal. The film uses this goal to show viewers a behind-the-scenes look at how movies are made. But, if you want to learn how movies are truly made, I would not suggest watching this two and half hour mockumentary for that information (there are about 100 better ways to learn about it).

Mar
07
2014
Read more

These "Soldiers" Leave You Cold As "Ice" Review

In 1962, while the Americans and Russians were distracted by the Cuban Missile Crisis, something equally disastrous was happening in the Canadian Arctic. A group of researches are startled to discover a trio of genetically enhanced Aryan soldiers that they believe were created by the Russians. Before they can even begin to research these “men,” the soldiers escape their loose chains and massacre the entire camp—except for the sole female scientist, whom Soldier #1 (Gabriel Hogan) rapes.

Feb
26
2014
Read more

"Life Of A King" Has Us In Checkmate Review

Cuba Gooding, Jr. (showing every one of his 46 years of age) brings us our latest inspirational, true-life film about chess. He portrays ex-felon Eugene Brown, who, after being released from prison after nearly two decades, tries to pick up the pieces of his life. He learns while reconnecting with his daughter, Katrina (Rachae Thomas), that his son is now in prison, following in his father’s footsteps. Feeling like an extra failure, he tries to make up for the mistakes of his life by inspiring the troubled teens at an inner city D.C. high school.

Feb
24
2014
Read more

Make 'Em Laugh: Doug Stanhope's "Beer Hall Putsch"

doug_stanhope_banner2

Beer Hall Putsch brings the comedy of Doug Stanhope to your home DVD collection. His affected name for this recording is derived from Hitler’s attempts to incite a governmental revolt in beer halls (in his pre-Fuhrer days). However, the only uprising Stanhope is liable to incite is over the use of marathon runs to raise money for charities.

Jan
29
2014
Read more

The World Would Be A Better Place With More "Women Without Men" Review

Women Without Men follows the story of four different women in Iran during the summer of 1953 when the Anglo-American coup overthrew the democratically elected Iranian Prime Minister Mossadegh. Munis (Shabnam Tolouei) does not want to meet the suitor her brother, Amir Khan (Essa Zahir), has invited over; and, in fact, she does not want to marry at all. Munis’ friend Faezeh (Pegah Ferydoni) does want to get married—to Amir; but he is engaged to another. The prostitute Zarin (Orsolya Toth) appears to have reached the end of her tether when her latest john appears as just a faceless man, prompting her to flee the brothel. And the middle-aged Fakhri (Arita Shahrzad) faces her decaying marriage when her old lover returns to her life.

Jan
24
2014
Read more

"Junkie" Needs A Fix-In The Script Department Review

Junkie is one very dark comedy about addiction. Danny (Daniel Louis Rivas) is trying to kick his serious drug addiction having hurt those in his life, but his brother Nicky (Robert LaSardo) is not supportive, flaunting his own addiction in his brother’s face, hoping to drag him back down the rabbit hole. But when Nicky murders his drug dealer (Tomas Boykin), Danny’s hope for recovery seems to go out the window.

Jan
24
2014
Read more

"Don Jon" Delivers All The Sweet JGL Action You Crave Review

There are only a few things average New Jersey dude Jon (Joseph Gordon-Leviit) really cares about: his body, his pad, his ride, his family, his church, his boys, his girls, and—most importantly—his porn. He devotes daily gym visits to keeping in shape. He has a cleaning regiment for keeping his apartment spotless. He keeps his car in tip-top shape. He visits his family—Jon Sr. (Tony Danza), his father who looks like a souped-up version of Jon himself; Angela (Glenne Headly), his mother who is very concerned that Jon find a nice girl; and Monica (Brie Larson), his sister who spends nearly every moment of screen time looking at her phone—every Sunday. He goes with them to church where he confesses all his sexual sins. He hangs with his best friends—played by Rob Brown and Jeremy Luke, who are vaguely reminiscent of the Entourage gang. He hooks up with a different girl every week. And he masturbates (at least once) every day, while watching his beloved porn.

Jan
22
2014
Read more

These "Sightseers" Will See A Lot More Than They Meant To Review

We’ve seen plenty of films about fascinating serial killers and what led to their destructive and perverse behaviors, but in Sightseers we get to see what would drive the average human into becoming a serial killer. Shut-in Tina (Alice Lowe) is tired of living with her crabby, senile mother (Eileen Davies) and eager to go on a road trip with her new boyfriend Chris (Steve Oram). Chris has planned a trip around the British Isles to visit various tourist spots. But from the start, various outside forces threaten to upset Chris’ perfectly planned trip—starting when Chris accidentally runs over a pedestrian with his trailer caravan.

Jan
20
2014
Read more

You Probably Won't Get "Stuck In Love", But You Might Enjoy It Review

It’s not uncommon to find writers pop up in literature, but it is uncommon to find a family of writers on film (especially such young writers). In Stuck in Love, the Borgens are a budding literary family who are, inevitably, stuck in love. Patriarch Bill (Greg Kinnear) may be a mildly famous author, but his divorce from Erica (Jennifer Connelly) has left him adrift in his love life. His daughter Samantha (Lily Collins) is about to have her first novel published, but she is guarding her heart because she doesn’t want to turn out like her parents. And teenager Rusty (Nat Wolff) is too busy crushing on classmate Kate (Liana Liberato) to focus on his own writing projects.

Jan
11
2014
Read more

"All The Boys" Finally Get To See "Mandy Lane" Review

Seven years after being completed (seven years after dealing with distribution drama), All the Boys Love Mandy Lane has reached the United States. This film was Jonathan Levine’s (50/50, Warm Bodies) first, and was born out of a film school thesis project from screenwriter Jacob Forman. Not even one-third of the way into the film, this is eminently apparent; yet that doesn’t distract from what the film has to offer (especially if you went to film school).

As the title suggests, all the boys in high school (and even the odd cowboy/ex-soldier) love Mandy Lane (Amber Heard). Their adoration is seemingly new, since most of the boys already have a girl on their arm; but Mandy doesn’t seem to mind the attention. She’s been comfortable with her b-list life with best friend Emmett (Michael Welch). But that doesn’t stop her from dragging her quiet, insecure friend along to a party with the popular kids.

Jan
11
2014
Read more


Popular