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Visual:		6.0
Audio:		2.0
Acting:		4.0
Writing:		4.0
Score:		4.0

Director(s):	Howard McCain
Writer(s):	Howard McCain, Dirk Blackman
Starring:	James Caviezel • John Hurt • Ron Perlman • Jack Huston • Sophia Myles
Genre:	Action • Adventure • Sci-Fi
Release Date:	January 23, 2009
Rated:

Outlander retells the legend of Beowulf as a science-fiction horror, its mythical creatures and powerful warrior explained as extraterrestrial products. This film is what happens when you make a Sci-Fi Channel monster flick with a slightly bigger budget (used on Xena-grade set design) and better actors (performing badly).

James Caviezel is Kainan, the titular outlander, who crash lands his spaceship in Norway during the Iron Age, inadvertently releasing a giant beast called the Moorwen upon the locals. The Moorwen is a feral four-legged creature whose skin glows bright red and sports a weaponized tail. It’s not at all a bad design, impressively brought to life considering the film’s relatively modest $50 million budget, but there’s nothing particularly new or striking about it. The Moorwen uses the same brushstoke as any other “giant dog” monsters, lacking that instant recognition present in the best of creature designs (like Alien). There’s more creativity to be found in hentai.

While trying to hunt down the monster, Kainan is captured by Viking warrior Wulfric (Jack Huston), who takes him prisoner to a “kingdom”—really a modest village—ruled by King Rothgar, as personified by John Hurt looking his typical frail nobleman. The film then follows the path you’d expect it to: the village is attacked by the Moorwen, Kainan explains to them what’s going on, he earns their trust by saving their King’s life, his rival Wulfric becomes his BFF, and he begins to accept the village and its people as home.

Kainan also falls for the King’s daughter Freya (Sophia Myles), who is introduced to us as a strong woman and a capable fighter, yet turns into a blushing fangirl around Kainan and a screaming damsel-in-distress once faced with the Moorwen. Now that’s tradition!

As the film inches closer to its inevitable stand off between Kainan and the Moorwen, it goes through the motions of a typical monster movie. Maybe the premise of Vikings versus Aliens could have been cooler if they’d actually pit ancient Viking weaponry against alien technology/mutation, but to have them battle a dragon-like beast with their swords and shields is to retreat to an all-too-common fantasy realm. For a movie of this type, it would have benefited more from—oh, I don’t know—Ron Perlman’s hammer-wielding Viking behemoth Gunnar, fighting laser-equipped Predators, maybe? Anything to put the science-fiction elements into play.

Outlander makes a dubious attempt at profundity when Kainan compares the Vikings’ pillaging ways to how his own people invade and occupy whatever planet they please. His people conquered the Moorwen’s home planet for their own benefit, thus provoking the Moorwen to pick up a taste for human flesh. I suppose this is an attempt to strike some sort of commentary about how our imposing on others inspire them to hate and attack us—a radical idea, I know—but it’s not at all convincing because the Moorwens are portrayed as dangerous animals while Kainan looks and talks like a modern-day Christian Bale. This is similar to Vikings killing other Vikings… How?

The problem with Outlander isn’t so much that it’s poorly made; it’s that it feels familiar to a fault. After one awkwardly shot action scene after another, the sum is just a big snorefest more than anything.