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Visual:		6.0
Audio:		5.0
Acting:		8.0
Writing:		4.0
Score:		5.0

Director(s):	Ron Howard
Writer(s):	Dan Brown (novel), David Koepp and Akiva Goldsman (screenplay)
Starring:	Armin Mueller-Stahl • Ayelet Zurer • Ewan McGregor • Stellan Skarsgard • Tom Hanks
Genre:	Crime Thriller • Drama • Mystery
Website:	http://www.angelsanddemons.com
Release Date:	May 15, 2009
Rated:

Now, I’ve neither seen nor read The Da Vinci Code, but I know that Angels & Demons was written (and takes place) before it. I also know that the filmmakers have chosen to ignore this fact, and in an attempt to cash in on Dan Brown’s briskly fleeting popularity, shot Angels & Demons as a sequel to the film version of The Da Vinci Code. You got all that? If anything, this signals at the interchangeability of Brown’s novels; how generic can ideas be if you can just slice them up and put them back together as you please? After Angels & Demons, I don’t think I’ll be spending too much time learning more about the whole series.

In Ron Howard’s Angels & Demons, Tom Hanks and his botoxed-to-hell forehead reprise their role as Professor Robert Langdon, a symbologist working at Harvard. When the Pope dies, Langdon is called upon by the Vatican Police to help decode a mysterious message they received concerning the Illuminati, an ancient enemy of the Catholic Church. At the same time, in Sweden, a group of scientists create a significant amount of antimatter, a dangerous but potentially world changing substance that a bad guy almost immediately manages to steal (how they were able to find out about this discovery almost instantaneously is never explained; just one of the many problems with this film). The same person kidnaps the four cardinals that are up for nomination to take on the role of the Pope. From there, Langdon and his supermodel slash bio-physicist friend Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer) somehow figure out that the kidnapper is planning to kill off the cardinals one by one (how they come to this conclusion is never explained either) and they are off on a scavenger hunt in the areas surrounding the Vatican. I guess it’s more of a man hunt, really, but the movie has all the feel of a scavenger hunt. It’s all about discovering the next clue, like where the next Angel is pointing! Or where a particular gravestone is! Or why Ewan McGregor has resorted to schlock! (We all know he’s better than this.) Langdon and the inept policemen accompanying him rush around town for a while, decoding symbols and driving fast and saving holy guys.

And quite frankly, watching this kind of dull, cyclical and repetitive prodding is not really all that much fun for the audience. We never really get the time, nor the character development to become thoroughly invested in the story, or its inhabitants. I don’t know if it was a prerequisite to see The Da Vinci Code before Angels & Demons, but I figure if the movie can’t stand alone and hold up, then it probably isn’t worthwhile. We never learn about any of the reasons behind Langdon’s obsession with symbols, nor about his conflicting feelings of fascination and contempt for the Catholic Church; after all, there must be a reason as to why he keeps getting involved with the Vatican. It should also be mentioned that oftentimes the awkward expository dialogue makes it difficult to take this film seriously, but it’s not surprising considering the writers were also responsible for such train wrecks as Batman & Robin, Lost in Space, Snake Eyes, and I Am Legend. There’s also a twist ending that anyone who’s ever seen a movie will be able to spot coming from a mile away.

It’s a bummer, too, because the cast is a good one, comprised of such understated talents as Stellan Skarsgard, Armin Mueller-Stahl, and the aforementioned McGregor. They are all clearly trying to do the best they can with the materials they are given, but it’s difficult to craft a rich character out of a mediocre story. I read somewhere that representatives for the Vatican watched the film and deemed it to be completely inoffensive to the Catholic Church, and it’s easy to see why. The movie is not only inoffensive; it’s actually pretty boring, and pretty damn predictable. Not to mention long. Really long.