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Movie:		2.0
Picture:		6.0
Sound:		3.0
Extras:		7.0
Score:		3.0

Director(s):	Emily Dell
Writer(s):	Emily Dell
Starring:	Julie 'Jules' Urich • Wesley Jonathan
Genre:	Drama
Release Date:	January 26, 2010
Rated:

List Price:	DVD - $22.49
Amazon:

The teen-aimed “dance flick” genre has surfaced in that broiling ocean of cynical film developments which also sees the “cheerleader flick” and “gymnastics flick” genres floating about like box office icebergs waiting to assail the good taste of the casual filmgoer. If you couldn’t stomach Step Up, Stick It, or Bring It On, then rest assured B-Girl has absolutely nothing for you. B-Girl has no audience outside the most forgiving consumers of the above genres, and even then it just might grate on their patience. Why? Because it’s barely even a film. The other exploitations of teenage crazes usually feature a meager story about a team banding together, a budding romance, or even an inspirational teacher moment. B-Girl has some of each, but only barely because B-Girl hardly has a plot at all.

Any narrative or dialogue does little more that provide filler between repetitive scenes of Angel (Julie ‘Jules’ Urich) practicing alone or with her new dance troupe in preparation for a big, nondescript break dancing competition happening at the end of the film. When events finally come to a close, it’s pretty clear that the biggest character was the soundtrack which often drowns out all else. Maybe writer and director Emily Dell wanted you to feel the soul of the B-Girl, who apparently feels the beat in every moment of every day. Or maybe she recognized an inherent shortcoming in her screenplay upon attempting to translate it from the page to the screen, that being the appalling amount of time where nothing is happening besides transitioning from one dance scene to the next.

The drama, when attempted at all, will elicit laughter out of most watchers. After suffering an attack in an alley after leaving a club, Angel’s best friend is stabbed and she herself damages a muscle in her back, hindering her return to the dance floor. Horrified by the circumstances of the attack, Angel’s mother high tails it out of New York to (what she must have imagined was the dance-prohibited town from Footloose) Los Angeles. As Angel’s mother struggles with losing her job, alcoholism, and her daughter’s return to dancing, Angel falls in with a street-educated teacher at her school, Carlos (What I Like About You’s Wesley Jonathan), whom encourages her to join a local team to compete in a competition. Through a series of dance sequences she regains her footing and confidence.

Let’s tackle each problem head on. First, as a teacher at Angel’s school, Carlos’s blossoming relationship with Angel, presented with the tact and subtlety of Cookie Monster’s adoration for snacks, would have dire consequences. Second, Angel’s grandmother. Even if she is Angel’s grandmother on her father’s side, there are two significant issues: she’s too young, and there’s no resemblance. At all. But not just with the grandmother. There’s no familial continuity anywhere in that family. The grandmother has distinct Latino roots, the mother looks Irish, and the daughter looks Scandinavian. If you think it’s ridiculous to focus on these facets of a dance film, please note that it’s only because there’s nothing else of substance in the film.

Should we criticize the dancing? Even if we were in a position to comment on the form of the dancers (who are supposedly the pros who did the footwork for Step Up), there’d be precious little to talk about until the final five minutes. Up until then it’s the same move being performed over and over and over. No variation whatsoever, which is painful when you consider that there’s no real story carrying the rest of the weight. The final battle however is a nice little display of dancing. It doesn't excuse the 80 minutes that come before though. Until then, watching B-Girl is like watching the demo reel of a dance team as they work really hard to master one move.

DVD Bonus Features

Note: the DVD’s extra features are almost half as long as the movie itself and, if pressed for time, might be a more rewarding viewing experience than the motion picture. In fact, there’s as much acting in the "Blooper Reel" as there is in the entirety of the film. An additional 7 minute clip of dancing can be found in the "Auditions Reel".

Okay, now by the time you get to featurette called “The Battle” there’s actually something of merit to be found. The film’s choreographer talks about staging the final dance battle of the film and utilizing the styles of each dancer. The dancer profiles also qualify as a step up from the film itself; you listen to each of the dancers talk about how they got involved and how they ended up on the film.