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Show:		2.0
Picture:		5.0
Sound:		5.0
Extras:		7.0
Score:		3.0

Director(s):	Chuck Lorre • Lee Aronsohn • Mark Roberts • Don Foster
Writer(s):	Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts, Don Foster
Starring:	Charlie Sheen • Jon Cryer • Angus T. Jones • Conchata Ferrell • Holland Taylor
Genre:	Comedy • Television
Website:	http://www.cbs.com/primetime/two_and_a_half_men/
Release Date:	May 12, 2009

List Price:	DVD - $28.99
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Two and a Half Man grossly overestimates its body count – or at least its worth. A fair ranking would put the show’s title around Three Quarters of a Man. The fact that the one-trick pony known as Two and a Half Men has been allowed to stretch on for five seasons (and now beyond) shakes my already eroding faith in the American television-watching audience. For five seasons now, Chuck Lorre has been telling the same joke. A womanizer, an emasculated father and a buffoon walk into a bar – and if Chuck Lorre has anything to do with it, the punch line will inevitably involve some variation on an adolescent joke about how much action Charlie gets, how stupid Jake is or how hopelessly impotent Alan is. Recycle that joke about fifty times and you have a single episode of Two and a Half Men. There may be a lot of laughs, but it’s the same laugh over and over and over. That’s not’s good writing, that’s copy, paste repeat.

Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen) made a mistake when he let his brother Alan (Jon Cryer) and nephew Jake (Angus T. Jones) move in with him all those years ago. Let’s make a wild comparison and suggest that Two and a Half Men is in fact a retread of The Odd Couple’s pairing of so many years ago. The prudish Alan (our Felix for this metaphor) moves in with the sexually chaotic Charlie (our metaphoric Oscar) and, wouldn’t you know it, hilarity ensues. But how many times can you laugh at Alan’s exasperation when every episode Charlie brings home a new 20 year-old girl and Alan just can’t seem to understand? It’s been about five years since you moved in Alan, the fact that you’re still impressed or astonished with Charlie’s ability to snag women isn’t a statement about Charlie but your character’s stupidity. Under the guidance of other writers, Alan would have moved on by now – his character would have experienced legitimate growth. Alan has not; because the writers haven’t. They’ve been allowed to wallow in a comedic cesspool devoid of alternate mates, so instead of spreading the comedic genes around, they shag the same jokes over and over and watch as the offspring gets duller and duller.

While Alan remains in limbo, the writers are attempting to grow Charlie – or at least grow something on Charlie. The writers of Two and a Half Men clearly view character development as a sort of tumor; once the tumor starts to grow it becomes quite clear that surgery will ensue to remove the growth and send Charlie right back to square one. Season 5 of Two and a Half Men has Charlie in two serious relationships (of sorts) and I think only one of them lasts longer than three episodes. The longest relationship Charlie maintains in the fifth season is with his psychiatrist played notably by Jane Lynch – she’s a breath of fresh air in a stale show such as this. Other characters like Berta (Conchata Ferrell) or the alcoholic, sexed-up mother (Holland Taylor) feel like blatant rehashes of characters from better shows.

You know what you’re getting when you sit down for a sitcom. You get to switch off your brain and rely on the laugh track to prompt your own laughter. But prompting and audience to laugh is different from asking them to force it – and since Two and Half Men can’t do the former, it will have to rely on the latter. This isn’t just lowest common denominator television, this should be one of the standards against which all writers fight. Sure, getting through five seasons with one joke is admirable, but that’s not’s good writing, that’s copy, paste repeat.

DVD Bonus Features

The first extra feature, “Two and a Half Men at 100” is a self-congratulatory piece where the cast and crew slap each other on the back for a job “well done”. Reaching 100 episodes is certainly a landmark achievement – even more so when you really only wrote one. What is worth mentioning is the CSI episode written by the Two and a Half Men staff and the featurette where, once again, the crew applauds themselves for their hard work. The CSI episode is at least entertaining – the featurette is just empty space. The best of the featurettes is the one that explains where the writing for Two and a Half Men really goes: the Chuck Lorre vanity cards that flash at the end of each episode. This piece is interesting and well worth watching, after all there have been so many of these things and they’re typically funnier than the programs which precede them.