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With the release of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the 2009 summer movie season has begun. A cursory glance at the upcoming slate of summer releases looks pretty weak this year, but I’m not here to look ahead. Instead, I noticed that we’ve reached the twenty-year anniversary of the “true” summer movie age. Sure, Jaws and Star Wars were the godfathers of the movement, and the close-following summers since that time often saw two or three big releases looking to cash in on the popcorn-munching crowd, but it was 1989 when the summer movie calendar started to become bloated. The large number of crowd-pleasing titles (and bevy of sequels) included the following: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Batman, Ghostbusters II, License to Kill, Star Trek V, Lethal Weapon 2, The Abyss, Honey I Shrunk the Kids and, to a lesser extent, The Karate Kid: Part III. So on the Platinum Anniversary of the summer flick phenomenon, I offer a look back at the best and worst the cinemas offered in the last twenty years.

The frustration with the summer movie season is that no matter how cynical you are about big Hollywood releases, every season has at least a couple that get you juiced up. And even if you’re disappointed with a film, assuming it became a big hit, there’s going to be a sequel rushed into theaters a couple years later, and provided that the original wasn’t entirely worthless…you’re probably going to plop down ten bucks to see the second one. And if a sequel to a good original happens to suck, you’re still going to pay to see the next chapter in hopes that the filmmakers get back on track. Summer movies feed into the adolescent in all of us, craving excitement and embracing nostalgia. And no matter how much junk you’ve sat through in the summer months, you still can’t help but look ahead to next year’s tentative offerings to see when you plan to spend a weekend or two out of the sweltering heat in front of a huge screen.

But despite the fact that summer movies tend to be lousy more often than great, they have an undeniable appeal that overcomes the critical eye. It’s a love/hate relationship of sorts. Not just because I love some and hate others, but because I hate to admit that I love anticipating them, and then love to condemn those that I end up hating. These movies need to have broad appeal and give people a reason why they can’t possibly wait for the video release—no wonder the results are so wildly mixed. Sometimes you get two hours of dizzying excitement and other times you can feel brain cells dying just trying to pay attention.

Below, I’ve listed the top five moneymakers released between May 1 and August 31 for each of the last twenty years and then picked the one I liked most and the one I thought was the most worthless for each summer. The numbers are based on domestic gross and rounded up or down to the nearest million (figures taken from Box Office Mojo). Some summers have better blockbusters than others, so the quality soars and dives quite often from year to year, and they don’t usually represent the true best or worst film of that season, but it is indicative of why I hate to love this season at the movies.



1989
Batman - $251 million
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - $197 million
Lethal Weapon 2 - $147 million
Honey I Shrunk the Kids - $131 million
Ghostbusters II - $111 million

Best: Lethal Weapon 2
The rare sequel that tops its predecessor, Lethal Weapon 2 is also the rare action comedy that actually delivers both violence and laughs and knows that they’re more effective when they don’t usually co-exist in the same scene. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover have the same exasperated rapport as before, the villains are actually quite slimy and detestable and Joe Pesci manages to be far funnier than he is annoying (and he actually serves a purpose in this one instead of showing up for zero plot-advancing in the next two diminishing sequels). Definitively “Hollywood” in its super-slick execution, but sometimes the Hollywood product machine gets it right.

Worst: Honey I Shrunk the Kids
Not entirely devoid of value—it’s harmless and kinda fun for the kids—it’s still not a particularly inspired comic adventure. It’s been many years since I’ve seen it but I have no desire to revisit, and don’t remember it all too fondly. The effects are pretty good, but it lacked the energy needed to sell the gargantuan production (or minuscule, depending on how you view it). Nevertheless, this winds up being one of the best of the lesser blockbusters to come, so it get points for that. Also, it’s odd to find Rick Moranis in two of the biggest hits in the same year—maybe if I had gone back further, I might have uncovered a treasure trove of Steve Guttenberg.



1990
Ghost - $218 million
Total Recall - $119 million
Die Hard 2 - $118 million
Dick Tracy - $104 million
Back to the Future Part III - $88 million

Best: Total Recall
Combining the mind-bending intelligence of the Philip K. Dick source material with the colossal magnitude of an Arnie actioner, Total Recall was more thought-provoking than was expected of the popcorn fare but never became too cerebral to bother blowing something up every ten minutes. Paul Verhoeven picks right up where he left off on Robocop and keeps the body count piling high (done so in giddily gruesome fashion) and the ballooned satire sending the audience delightfully off-balance. Some people complained that it was too complicated, which is kind of a compliment. Others moaned that it was too violent, which is also part of its charm. Even the otherwise formulaic final act is potentially undone by the speculation that it might have all been a dream. A movie loosely based on a Dick story that leaves the ending up to the viewer’s interpretation, huh? Okay, it’s not in Blade Runner’s league, but it’s still a smashing good time.

Worst: Ghost
Somewhat better than one would expect, Ghost never really gels. There are elements of romance, comedy, drama, thriller and the supernatural, but the sequences don’t really go together that well. Did we really need there to be a murder conspiracy that resulted in one of those standard-issue violent conclusions where people are being chased in and around dark corners? I’d have rather had the sleazy villain written out and just made it with the three leads to focus on laughs and the heart. Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore were bland but likable, Whoopi Goldberg actually pretty good, but it was all too preposterous and jarring in its tonal shifts for the “heavier” scenes to connect.


1991
Terminator 2: Judgment Day - $205 million
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves - $165 million
City Slickers - $124 million
The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear - $87 million
Point Break - $84 million

Best: Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Sure, the original was leaner, meaner and better, but it didn’t have the sheer entertainment factor that the sequel offered. It was a thrill ride from start to finish, gave the audience something it hadn’t seen before (and, by extension, raised the bar of special effects to an astronomically high level), offered a surfeit of escapism and never insulted the viewer’s intelligence or interest in summer-phobic issues of character, plot, etc. In other words, you pay your money and you get more than enough in return; it ensured that there weren’t too many better ways to spend two-and-a-quarter hours that summer. Even its occasional flirtations with preachiness weren’t bothersome—it lent the sequel resonance and ensured that no one would find this to just be a straightforward rehash of the original. And as far as kinetic action scenes and flawless special effects go, has any movie since its release truly rivaled it? The technical skill required to bring T-1000 to life is still staggering—I have no idea how they could already be so seamless at the dawn of CGI. Plus, there’s R-rated language and carnage on display here, something that is becoming tiresomely non-existent during the blockbuster season. Even McG or whatever you call him wouldn’t be dumb enough to make the fourth one PG-13…wait, what’s that now?

Worst: Point Break
After this and Ghost, you probably think I have something against Patrick Swayze. Not in the least. In fact, not many actors have made more watchable crap than him. Proof? Red Dawn, Steel Dawn, Road House, Uncommon Valor, Black Dog and this—all junk, all worth seeing for a good laugh or twenty. And he out-acts and out-cools (sure, it’s a word) Keanu Reeves, except for when Keanu gets so angry and conflicted that he empties a clip into the sky while screaming (hooray for Hot Fuzz). Reeves reading surf-friendly lines should actually work considering his success in Bill and Ted, but since he’s “undercover intense,” the laidback lingo sounds stiffer than the board he rides. And finally, any action movie that features Gary Busey as a good guy must be out of its damn mind.


1992
Batman Returns - $163 million
Lethal Weapon 3 - $145 million
Sister Act - $140 million
A League of Their Own - $108 million
Patriot Games - $83 million

Best: Patriot Games
A close race with Batman Returns (the best of the pre-Nolan Batman pics), Harrison Ford slipped into the role of Jack Ryan very smoothly in the underrated Patriot Games. The movie strays afield in the final twenty minutes, culminating with Ryan turning into a superhero of sorts as he battles terrorists in a darkened house and on speeding boats to protect his family, but until then it was solid entertainment all the way. Tougher and grittier than the last Jack Ryan adventure (is it even possible today for a franchise to kick it up from a PG into R territory?) And in 1992, it was both a thrill and a surprise to see CIA war rooms of sorts where satellites used heat-sensitive photography to track enemies and then have someone push a button to watch them all get blow to smithereens. These high-tech intel scenes are far more fascinating than the hand-to-hand combat and gunfights, but it’s the summer, so you gotta give audiences what they want. At least the explosive sequence in London early on delivered both thrills and chills.

Worst: Sister Act
As far as star vehicles for Whoopi Goldberg go, there’ve been plenty worse (a cop with a dinosaur partner, nuff said), but this one’s simply not that funny. Most of the songs that Whoopi brings to the convent are good enough to make it a brisk time waster, but a time waster it remains. Maybe you need to know nuns better than I do to find their “rocking of the habits” consistently amusing. As for the tired scenes featuring the casino boss gangster and the good guy cop on the case, wake me up when we’re back at church—never thought I’d ever say that. Credit high concept and star power to be the only reasons why this one didn’t fizzle.


1993
Jurassic Park - $357 million
The Fugitive - $184 million
The Firm - $158 million
Sleepless in Seattle - $126 million
In the Line of Fire - $102 million

Best: Jurassic Park
Some people complained that story and characterization took a backseat to the technical wizardry in Jurassic Park, but that was sort of the point. Besides, I find it extremely unlikely that they gave two figs about it when they were planted in the seat watching the thing unfold, and instead found their gripes on the ride home. But that’s what Jurassic Park excelled at—like a theme park ride, it’s meant to be enjoyed as a slambang thrillfest, one that shakes you up and leaves you grinning dizzily. Who cares what happens afterward? Plus, no matter how superficially it treated the human elements, it was never condescending or forgetful in relating to the audience. Oh, and the dinosaurs were incredible. That’s the sort of stuff that summer movies are built on.

Worst: Sleepless in Seattle
I’m sure it’s predictable that the “chick flick” got the snub this year, but let’s face it, 1993 was a pretty good year for summer hits. Even the overlong and overly sensational The Firm had enough suspense and good performances to keep your eyes glued to the screen. While there have been far worse rom-coms before and since Sleepless in Seattle, there’s still not much here to make it rise above the clichés of its ilk. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are in their comfort zones here and do admirable enough work, but since they only meet at the very end, there’s no chance to see the chemistry between them. Even rom-com fans must have thought that was a gyp, right? Apparently not, since it was a smash during the typically testosterone-fueled season.


1994
Forrest Gump - $330 million
The Lion King - $313 million
True Lies - $146 million
The Flintstones - $131 million
Clear and Present Danger - $122 million

Best: True Lies
Yes, once upon a time you could make a comedy about terrorists. And James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger nailed it almost perfectly. Even when the story bogs down a bit during the midsection, there are enough funny bits here and there to keep you amused. With Arnie and Cameron, you know you’re going to get an eyeful, and some of the action sequences are perfect for the material—visceral enough to get you excited, funny enough for it to go over-the-top and still work. The most surprising move, though, was the casting of Tom Arnold as the sidekick…and the guy nailed the role, effectively stealing the entire show. Considering those in command, that’s nothing short of a summer miracle.

Worst: The Flintstones
Cartoons being turned into live action features (or semi-live action) don’t have a good track record: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Casper, Scooby Doo and Garfield (kinda counts). The Flintstones was no worse than any of them but not being much better either essentially sums up my argument. The production design was pretty good for the material and John Goodman did a fine job with Fred, but no amount of good stunt casting would save the exceptionally lame plot devices. The rumor has it that the script went through thirty-two writers—puzzle solved.


1995
Batman Forever - $184 million
Apollo 13 - $172 million
Pocahontas - $142 million
Casper - $100 million
Die Hard with a Vengeance - $100 million

Best: Die Hard with a Vengeance
The best of the Die Hard sequels, the film’s origin was actually for the Lethal Weapon series, which probably explains why Bruce Willis was saddled with a partner. But massive rewrites pointed it towards John McClane instead of Riggs & Murtaugh, and despite numerous plot holes and contrivances, the movie moves so fast and relentlessly, you hardly have a chance to care. In fact, it’s pretty much wall-to-wall action, and the banter between Willis and Samuel L. Jackson gives us plenty of laughs, too. The ending is anti-climactic, but right up to the point when the ship exploded in a huge fireball, it’s the perfect formula for a summer actioner—not too dumb and a lot of fun.

Worst: Casper
Surprise cameos aside, what does Casper bring to audiences? Taking a not-particularly-interesting-in-the-first-place cartoon ghost and putting him into the real world so he can just be a dead kid in a creaky mansion. Talk about family fun.


1996
Independence Day - $306 million
Twister - $242 million
Mission: Impossible - $181 million
The Rock - $134 million
The Nutty Professor - $129 million

Best: Mission: Impossible
It must be a below average summer when a Michael Bay movie would’ve been second. But the first Mission: Impossible, for all of its many problems, is the one most faithful to the original series even if the movie suffers from too many twists that don’t make a whole lot of pragmatic sense. The helicopter-train finale is ludicrous but still a lot of silly fun, and the sequence where they break into CIA Headquarters still delivers the goods on repeated views. And while the material he works with is frequently faulty, there’s no denying Brian De Palma’s strength as a visual director, and he gives it a style that (somehow) smoothly bends from elegant to hyperactive.

Worst: Independence Day
The event movie of 1996 was so shoddily assembled you couldn’t help but wonder if the movie was made by committee—oh, it was: Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin, the Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer of FX extravaganzas. And instead of giving us a single character to root for, they deliver two dozen obnoxious ones, defined by painful stereotypes (young hotshot, old Jewish nebbish, crazy hayseed, stripper-with-a-heart-of-gold, Bill Pullman). The special effects weren’t half bad and the trailer that showed buildings getting blown up real good was worth seeing, but in context? Yawn. Witless and stupefyingly long, at least the “inspiring” speeches were worth a few yuks. A fun time can be dumb, but come on…