"Eaters" Is Less Than Appetizing Review

By now, most people know what to expect of the zombie genre, and to its credit, Eaters tries to deliver that, and it's probably unreasonable to criticize it for not doing anything else. There are the spurts of blood, the hellish post-industrial landscape, and the disbelieving newscasters; it's all here in roughly the same ratio as generally liked films such as Dawn Of The Dead. Why, then, is Eaters such a drag? It'd be easy to point to Uwe Boll's name featured prominently on the cover, or the dubbing that severely threatens to make those Godzilla imports look synched, but it'd also be lazy. No, the real trouble with Eaters is that it just might go too far, which is a troubling proposition for a genre with few other virtues.

The plot takes place well after the zombie apocalypse, an event by now so familiar that it requires little exposition, and focuses on a couple of guys wandering the aftermath and gathering up bodies (living or otherwise) to bring back for a scientist to experiment on. One day, they happen to run across the girl whose father was responsible for unleashing this “bug” upon the world.

As set-ups go, it’s not bad; talented directors have certainly made due with less. But where those talented directors found the gravity in such apocalyptic scenarios, Eaters dwells upon idiosyncracies. Sure there can be maniacs, but do we really need them to hoot and holler this annoyingly? We need blood, but do we need it to hit the camera lens (in garishly obvious CGI)? And sure we need a sullen, morose hero, but does he have to be so boring? Everything that makes a zombie movie a zombie movie is here, but either so misjudged or entirely out of the proper balance that Eaters grows colder the harder that it tries.

SPECIAL FEATURES

There's a making-of featurette.

"Eaters" is on sale March 5, 2013 and is not rated. Horror. Directed by Luca Boni, Marco Rastori. Written by Marco Ristori, Germano Tarricone. Starring Rosella Elmi, Guglielmo Favilla, Elisa Ferretti, Riccardo Floris, Fabiano Lioi.

Mar
16
2013
Anders Nelson • Associate Editor

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