You Might Be "Blindsided" By How Dumb This Is Review

Blindsided, alternatively known as Penthouse North, was first announced in 2011, screened at festivals in 2013, aired on Lifetime in January 2014 and is only just now making its way to DVD--a winding road to be sure, and one that generally does not bode well for a film’s quality. Written by seasoned thriller writer David Loughery (Lakeview Terrace, Obsessed) and directed by Joseph Ruben (cult horror classic The Stepfather), Blindsided stars Michelle Monaghan as Sara, a photojournalist who was blinded by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan (though her pretty face was conveniently left unmarred by the explosion), and Michael Keaton as Hollander, a vicious criminal determined to find the diamonds that are supposedly hidden in Sara’s glamorous New York City penthouse.

Sara assumed that her devoted boyfriend, Ryan (Andrew W. Walker), amassed the small fortune that allowed them to live in such luxury by “investing.” Turns out, he was actually a thief in cahoots with the likes of Hollander and his more dimwitted accomplice, Chad (Barry Sloane). Now Hollander and Chad want the diamonds that Ryan apparently made off with, and they are willing to do anything to get them back--including murdering Ryan and torturing Sara, both psychologically and physically. Sara claims to not know anything about the diamonds or Ryan’s criminal past--but is she telling the truth, or merely stalling? 

Everything about Blindsided is supremely goofy, from the over-the-top performances by otherwise talented actors to literally every single piece of the plot. Monaghan’s earnest attempts at telegraphing Sara’s blindness to the audience are more amusing than believable, while Keaton seems determined to chew up all of the scenery and then spit it out in someone’s face. Throughout, I kept wondering why this ritzy New York apartment building seemed to have no security cameras and no one to bother to look for Antonio the friendly doorman when he mysteriously disappeared at the hands of Chad. Many questions are left unanswered, but in a way that feels more lazy than mysterious. It might take place in a penthouse, but Blindsided is more worthy of the bargain basement.

SPECIAL FEATURES

There are no DVD special features.

"Blindsided" is on sale June 2, 2015 and is rated R. Thriller. Directed by Joseph Ruben. Written by David Loughery. Starring Barry Sloane, Michael Keaton, Michelle Monaghan .

Jun
26
2015
Lee Jutton • Staff Writer

Lee attended NYU for Film & TV Production, but she now works mostly in PR. Her primary obsessions in life are Doctor Who, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Arsenal F.C. When not writing about things she's watched, she's running or kickboxing in preparation for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. 

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