In 1984, producer Michael Mann blew up with the hit television show Miami Vice. Staring T.V. stud Don Johnson, not only did this show have an all-star cast and a fast moving story line, it was ahead of its time in fashion. With this mix of cop drama and new styles that practically shaped the decade, fans still love to watch their favorite two cops "Tubbs" and "Crockett".
This show was before my time so it was never and will never be a big deal in anyway of my T.V. watching life, let alone change my fashion sense. But I'm sure that super fans of the hit 80s show were excited when Universal said that they had given a yes to the making of the Miami Vice movie.
The film is sure to be a big blockbuster hit if only because it has such a following, and because Pirates of the Caribbean was sold out. But even with the entire fast pace movement of the show, Vice can't hold a candle to its once huge counterpart.
Fast pace is the last and I mean the last thing I would ever call this movie. I'm the kind of guy that likes to spill my guts when it comes to movies, I'll tell about a movie line-for-line if I like it enough, but this is the movies main problem; there is nothing to tell. It's a series of long and boring (in the words of The Neverending Story) nothingness.
You go into certain movies with different attitudes, whether it's the "well, I'm on a date" attitude and you don't even care what you see as long as you get a kiss or sometimes you saw the preview for the movie about a month ago and it really interested you, so when it finally comes out you get really excited to see it. There are only a couple more but I won't go into those now. I went into this movie with the expectations that it was going to be a fast pace-cop-stuff blowing up in your face movie. So maybe I went in with the wrong attitude.
The story is set in present day Miami, where drugs rule the street and even some of the cops aren't to be trusted. In a town like this there is only one way to get the bad guys; you must become one. Two police officers, "Tubbs" played by Jaime Foxx and "Crockett" played by Colin Farrell, go undercover to catch a Spanish drug dealer, when one of them lets his penis do all the thinking and starts sleeping with the enemy's wife. A friend of my enemy is my enemy. Meanwhile the other is dealing with his cop girlfriend who has been kidnapped by a group of white supremacists. And the dullness ensues.
Throughout a long series of seemingly pointless dialogue, headache causing camera work and one too many three minute sex scenes (yes even the sex was dull). The movie finally came to an end, PSYCHE!! It still is playing and I even catch myself staring at the sealing for a minute or two. I wanted to like it, I really did, even up to the last scene of the movie, it wasn't until I had actually left the theater when I yelled out, "F*** Colin Farrell!!" why does this guy get to be famous? He is one of the worst actors out there.
Overall there was probably about two good solid minutes of the whole movie, which includes one of the only gunshot wounds to the head and a huge explosion.
It is bad! People, if you like good movies please don't see this. I'm the kind of guy that even likes to watch bad movies just so I can make fun of them, but there is nothing there to make fun of.
To all the Miami Vice fans out there; I'm sorry if you thought the movie was as bad as I did, but hey it could have been worse, Michael Mann could have directed the show too.
"Miami Vice" opens July 28, 2006 and is rated R. Action. Written and directed by Michael Mann. Starring Ciaran Hinds, Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, John Hawkes, Justin Theroux, Li Gong, Naomie Harris.
