Oh why, oh why do some filmmakers and film studios insist on squeezing the last red cent out of a movie it can possibly produce?
We all remember Jurassic Park I right? The original that came out in 1993 and did really well in the box office. Totally a new type of movie and the dinos looked pretty damn real. I liked it so much, I bought it on DVD. Jurassic Park II was a poor take off from the original. This third installment is even worse. The movie screams "I'm here to make money". The Jurassic Park series of movies is dead, let's just let it go.
I didn't even know this movie existed until it popped up in my Netflix recommendations one day. So since my queue was getting low, I added it in.
Here we are again, with Dr. Alan Grant and his dinos. The movies opening sequence shows a boy (Erik Kirby) and some other guy parasailing over near an island. Reading the parasail that says "Dino-Soar" on it you can come to the conclusion that there are dinosaurs on this island and they are there to see some of them. Suddenly, the boat captain is gone and there's some really awful footage of them being jostled around in the sky.
Along comes Paul & Amanda Kirby who are the parents of Erik. The convince Dr. Grant they own an import/export business and want to see this island as an adventure trip and in compensation will donate money to his research of dinosaurs. So before long we're flying over an island and then finally landing on it. The plot unfolds as the group gets into trouble. Paul and Amanda reveal to Dr. Grant that they're looking for their son on this island.
Later in the movie after losing a couple of people in their party, they manage to find their son who amazingly somehow managed to survive eight weeks on his own on an island FULL of dinosaurs. Yeah Right. JPIII just goes downhill from here. Everything in the movie is so predictable. There is ZERO suspense in this movie. Everywhere they turned they were doing something stupid to get themselves chased by dinosaurs. Like yelling really loud. Give me a break.
Our merry band of morons manages to steal some Velociraptor eggs which later come in handy. They end up being used in negotiations with the Velociraptors. When that doesn't work, Dr. Grant pulls out his handy dandy Velociraptor voice box thingie and blows the exact sound that calls for help. Then the Navy and Marines come to the rescue.
If that wasn't enough to make your stomach turn, the acting by all parties minus Sam Neill was terrible. They must have been on a really cheap budget for this movie and didn't really care how the acting was. The actor's scripting was terrible as well.
The CG effects were fine and probably improved since the last Jurassic Park II movie. The dinos appeared more lifelike in this installment. That's about the only positive to this movie.
I was able to watch this in 6.1 DTS which did sound nice when the dinosaurs were yelling. There wasn't as much stomping like in the first one. The stomping is what used to get my subwoofer going and really added to the movie experience. Not in JPIII. We had most of the dinos just yelling and chasing people. Then the Velociraptors having a discussion and making plans in dino language. Another, yeah right.
To top it off, I'd start preparing myself for a JP4. At the end of JPIII, there are three Pterodactyls flying off into the sunset headed towards who knows where, probably Los Angeles. Jurassic Park IV: Invasion of LA There you go, I'll take my commission on that title.
Bottom line, unless you're in love with the Jurassic Park series of movies, there are better ways to spend an hour and a half of your life. Like sleeping for example, you'd be better off just sleeping.
"Jurassic Park III" opens July 18, 2001 and is rated PG13. Adventure. Directed by Joe Johnston. Written by Peter Buchman . Starring Tea Leoni, William H Macy, Sam Neill, Laura Dern.
