Secret Service (X360) Review

As American citizens we are all familiar with terrorism being used and talked about in our daily lives. With Secret Service you take the role of an S.S. agent and are a direct protector of the US President. Will this game kickass and take names, or will it fail and have a horrid buzzcut like the guy on the front of the game's box? Let's see with the review for Secret Service.


The story is interesting actually, it is 2009 and the president (which isn't black in the game) is getting ready for his inaugural speech when you get a call from an unknown person who tells you the President (referred to as POTUS [Pres. of the United States] throughout the game) is in danger of assassination. He refuses to tell you his identity, but warns you of the attack which happens almost immediately after you get off the phone. They are foreign nationals who directly attack the President and you along with 2 other S.S. agents must defend him. The game sounds like a decent story except the part where it is completely unrealistic.

For example, the first level you are defending the Pres from attackers while taking refuge in the Lincoln Memorial, after taking out the waves of gunmen you need to take out several RPGers stationed around the LM. Security seems like it took the day off for a drinking binge and a fatty. You are turned into an apparent one man army. In the second level you are in the Capitol building (again alone) which has been rigged with a crap ton of explosives and you (literally only you) must take out all of the terrorists as well as disarm the explosives. Like I said, it is just too unrealistic for a one man task force to do the work of a six man team. If you take Rainbow Six and make it just you against everything this is the storyline that you get.

Story: C


The gameplay is typical and forgettable. It is your normal FPS with typical buttons as well as missions. You have to kill these guys, disarm this, keep this guy safe you know, all the typical things. Secret Service is unfortunately a bust when it comes to gameplay ability. The guns are clunky and it becomes increasingly annoying when you are stuck fighting brigades of terrorists on your own. They give you a lean button that is suppose to help but it is actually in your best interest to stay as far away from it as possible.

It does have some decent guns as well as some good firefights, but it is too far in between all the unreal scenarios as well as gameplay that makes it rough to not die 3 out of 4 times. The enemies also are like super human soldiers that can take loads of punishment from you. All in all, the game is pitiful. It has tough controls, enemies that are on another level of strength and unrealistic campaigns as well to sum it all up. This game is lacking heavily is decent gameplay or anything that stands out as superb. This honestly isn't a game that can be saved by graphics or anything else due to the gameplay's poor turnout.

Gameplay: D+


The graphics are actually good, but nothing that goes KA-KOW! or saves the game as well. It is hard to look past the gameplay and see the graphics as a saving grace in honestly, any instance. The graphics are pretty solid and I mean I gotta talk about where it is strong so here it is, the graphics on the buildings are pretty strong [not compared to Fallout 3s rendition of the buildings though] but they lack that true realistic feeling that makes a great FPS. They are pretty much the best thing that game has, but it just can't measure up enough to save the gameplay here.

Graphics: B-


The sound is...alright. The weapons are solid, but it does nothing to ‘wow' you or make you turn your head a second time. The guns make decent sound effects and the vehicles aren't half bad, but when it comes down to it, it is the same problem as with the graphics. It cannot save the game. The sound effects are solid and do their job, but don't do enough for this game to get any better.

Sound: C


Really low here. No worthwhile online anything coupled with very minimal playability makes this game a hard one to swallow [Haha Boosh]. The graphics and sound are acceptable, but they don't make up for the utter lack of playability. Since it is a FPS game we have to compare it and this is not something that is worth truly any amount of money. The achievements aren't fun, the controls are lacking and most of all, the story is just downright a rough one to believe at any standard. Not the attempted President situation that has happened several times, but the whole game being one S.S. agent vs. the entire terrorist organization. I mean they don't send over one badass John Rambo from the USMC to take out the Taliban or anything so why would you have it in a game? It just doesn't make sense.

Replay: D


The game just straight up blows. I have to be honest people, I have played some bad games [Drake of the 99 Dragons], but this one exceeds many expectations of bad games. Poor story, terrible gameplay and sound and graphics that cannot make up for it either really just kills this games possibility. One of the big ‘additions' to the game is actually one of the biggest busts of it with the leaning ability. Leaning is not only ridiculously hard to do, but it leaves you totally immobile and gives you very little help when shooting. The replay value is non-existent and it is due to many reasons which I have talked about frequently thus far. I cannot recommend this game even for a rental due to how boring and unrealistic it is.

I can usually find something in a game that makes it mildly playable, but not here. It offers nothing worth even $20 in all honestly and fails in the wake of post-terrorist fear mongering. If you were part of a team [Rainbow Six style] this game could be decently playable, but no you have to end the threat all on your lonesome. It pains me to say that this is one of the worst games that I have played on the X360 and that is a pretty steep fall. This game ranks down there with Dark Sector [isn't that bad though] and is just downright not worth the money. Sorry, but Secret Service is just not much of a service for gamers to enjoy. [Zing!]

Overall: D+


Don’t Tase Me Bro 10
Electrocute 35 enemies using the Stun Gun or Taser.
Cowboy 10
Accumulate 30 kills using pistols in any level.
Soft Spot 30
Accumulate 50 headshots throughout the entire game.
Gives Instead Of Takes Bullets 50
Complete the game without dying on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
POTUS Secured 50
Complete the game on any difficulty setting.
Yeah, I'm Pretty Awesome 100
Complete the game on the POTUS Detail difficulty setting.
Loves Fire, Hates Red Containers 10
Blow up 10 fire extinguishers.
No Body Cares 10
Destroy 20 busts in Capitol Building levels (Coup D'etat and Filibuster).
Just Like The Real Thing 15
Win 30 hacking minigames.
What Are You, A Cat? 50
Complete the entire game without ever using nightvision (excluding while gunning in Marine One).
Like Static With Unconciousness 20
Zap 75 enemies with the Stun Gun or Taser.
They Shouldn't Have Bunched Up 20
Kill 30 enemies using hand grenades and/or the RPG.
The Memory Of A Goldfish 15
Kill 1 enemy using the tripwire laser bombs that were set by the Sentavans.
Turns Out They Don't Hail A Cab 15
Initiate the explosion of 5 tripwire laser bombs by crossing their lasers.
Too Lazy To Jump And Crouch 15
Blow up all tripwire laser bombs in the Rogue Agent level.
Bullet Waltz 20
Run for over 3 minutes, crouch 30 times, lean 30 times, and jump 30 times.
Awful Surprise 15
Shock 1 enemy with the Taser while they aren't looking.
Some Of Them Still Have Minutes 10
Pick up 10 Cell Phones.
Haven't Found A Color I Like 15
Pick up 35 Cell Phones.
Opening A Local Wireless Store 20
Pick up all 50 Cell Phones.
Countryman 20
Beat the game without killing a single Secret Service Agent.
Weapon Tester 10
Fire each weapon in the game at least once.
Merciless Speed 15
Kill 5 enemies in 5 seconds.
Bow To No One! 10
Complete any level without crouching.
From The Hip 15
Complete any level without using gun sights.
White House Electrician 20
Complete Habeas Corpus using only the Stun Gun and Taser on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
The Best Defense… 20
Complete Extraction with more than 50% of the helicopter armor intact.
Master Of Spin 15
Win 10 hacking minigames in a row.
Cameraman 15
Complete any level without getting hit even once by a turret.
Playing For Keeps 20
Complete any level on POTUS Detail difficulty without dying.
Hopefully No Long Term Effects… 10
Receive 15 hits from high voltage fences without dying from electric shock.
In Just 30 Seconds A Day 10
Perform 5 crouches, 5 leans and run for 10 seconds all in under 30 seconds.
Five Birds With One Boom 20
Eliminate 5 or more enemies with a single explosion (use grenades, RPG or Trip Wire Bombs).
Camera Shy 20
Destroy 25 turret cameras.
No Record 30
Destroy all turret cameras.
Inaugural Assault 25
Complete Inaugural Assault on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Coup D'etat 25
Complete Coup D'etat on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Filibuster 25
Complete Filibuster on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Urban Legend 25
Complete Urban Legend on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Collateral Damage 25
Complete Collateral Damage on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Rogue Agent 25
Complete Rogue Agent on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Habeas Corpus 25
Complete Habeas Corpus on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Last Stand 25
Complete Last Stand on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Extraction 25
Complete Extraction on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Expatriate 25
Complete Expatriate on Agent or POTUS Detail difficulty.
Secret Achievements
Drop The Pin… 0
Killed yourself with your own grenade.
Expert Marksman 0
Fired an entire magazine without hitting anyone.
The Exact Opposite Of Your Job 0
Shot the man you were hired to protect.

"Secret Service (X360)" is on sale November 4, 2008 and is rated T. Shooter. Developed by Cauldron. Published by Activision.

Sean Anthony


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