It occurred to me instantly that there is something odd with the way Race to Witch Mountain begins.
The opening title sequence contains a dizzying attempt at semi-realism by using a montage of newspaper clippings, flying saucer footage and truncated clips of Presidents Reagan and Clinton discussing alien life. Tonally, it struck me as out of step with the Disney adventure it’s supposed to be. The sequence then cuts to a chaotic air traffic monitoring room going nuts over a UFO crash and a shot of menacing-looking-government-agents sternly marching down corridors to somewhere-we-understand-is-super-important, looking like a scene right out of Armageddon. That’s when I figured out that this is not a family film with added action-adventure elements. It’s a PG-rated cut of a Michael Bay film.
In 1975, Disney released Escape to Witch Mountain, a film that spawned a theatrical sequel and a TV movie follow-up. This new film is a re-imagining of the original movie that earns its first verb by transplanting the premise into a chase film, as partly written by Live Free or Die Hard writer Mark Bomback. Instead of two orphaned kids discovering their true identities and the mystery behind their paranormal abilities, Race to Witch Mountain zones in on Las Vegas taxi driver Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson), an ex-mob wheelman who one day finds two superpowered alien kids Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig) hitching his cab and involving him in a race to save Earth.
The premise is something you have to take at face value just to get the story going, like Tom Cruise’s hitman in Collateral getting an unsuspecting Jamie Foxx to drive him around town as he commits murders. Sara, we find out, has the ability to drive vehicles with her mind, but to get her and her brother to meet our main character, we need them to conspicuously empty an ATM machine and then jump into the one cab whose driver is openly fighting with mob guys in broad daylight. Whatever, right?
The mostly clueless Jack Bruno is the father figure as well as the comic relief—though not enough, which is a gross waste of Dwayne Johnson’s knack for comedy. Completing the family is Dr. Alex Friedman (Carla Gugino), a scientist struggling to gain followers within the UFO enthusiasts community because she doesn’t spout sensational nonsense like anal probes and the crop circle phenomenon. A big chunk of the film is set in a UFO convention, allowing the film some fun lampooning UFO believers and Star Wars geeks alike.
Throughout the film, the group fends off overzealous Department of Defense agent Henry Burke (Ciaran Hinds) and his team of extraterrestrial experts, who want the kids detained because they are “illegal aliens” and therefore have no rights within the United States. Yes! Half-baked political commentary! Now it’s Science Fiction. All it needs is a Boba Fett character who can serve no other function in the story other than to act as a filler villain padding out the action quotient—which, not surprisingly, is covered. These familiar tropes plus extremely thin characters add up to a pretty routine adventure, even for a film aimed at kids.
I had a hard time figuring out where the appeal of Race to Witch Mountain lies. It has very few attempts at humor and it’s so concerned with thrusting one action scene after another that it never lets the characters bond as the family unit the film wants them to be—so it doesn’t quite work as Disney's typical pro-family venture. What it seems to really want to be is a sci-fi action thriller, but it’s not edgy enough to appeal to teens nor does it indulge in unique ideas attractive enough for science fiction fans. All I know is that it offers tons of tame car chases and crippled Die Hard sequences, for whatever that’s worth. With the premise and talent involved, it really could have done so much more.
"Race to Witch Mountain" opens March 13, 2009 and is rated PG. Action, Adventure, Children & Family, Sci-Fi. Directed by Andy Fickman. Written by Alexander Key (book), Matt Lopez (screen story), Matt Lopez and Mark Bomback (screenplay). Starring Carla Gugino, Cheech Marin, AnnaSophia Robb, Dwayne Johnson, Alexander Ludwig, Ciaran Hinds.
