Slaughter High sucks, all right? It’s got nothing dozens or hundreds of similar movies don’t, it’s overly long, under lit, and there’s really no reason to watch it over much else from its era. I’ve probably seen fifty 80s slashers (And no, that’s not an overestimation, I assure you) and while Slaughter High ranks nowhere near the bottom of the trash heap, it’s certainly no proverbial marble in the oatmeal.
One fine April Fools Day, some jokers pulled a really mean prank on young dweeb Marty. Teased with the promise of attaining his manhood, he was instead humiliated a dozen different ways, all on tape. Oh yeah, his face was burned off with nitric acid as well. Now, five years later, there’s a reunion going on at the school and, curiously enough, the only folks who seem to have been invited are the ones responsible for Marty’s little mishap.
It doesn’t take a brilliant mind to assert who the killer is, and in case you’re really stupid it’s given away on both the front and the back of this new Lost Collection DVD from Lionsgate. Originally, this release was going to present the R-rated cut of the film, when all of a sudden someone just happened to stumble upon a print of the uncut version. The film is presented in 4x3 (Fullscreen), but from my exhaustive Googling I couldn’t find any indication that the film was shot in a wider scope.
The only reason to watch this film, like the vast majority of 80s slashers, is the gore, and in this respect, Slaughter High delivers. While there are the more traditional methods of dispensing with unlikable dames and assholes – an axe to the face, a knifing from the backseat of a car – most of these scenes are fairly damned intuitive. The inspired electrified sex sequence is almost worth the price of admission, and the acid bath got an actual quiver from me. The movie’s a fun house of sorts, so I guess you could say it’s at least adequate for its time.
That said, a movie with three directors shouldn’t have acting this awful – I mean it’s terrible. Really, really bad. Also, a movie with three directors shouldn’t be so underexposed all the damn time, and it shouldn’t have visible boom mics (to be fair, there’s only one, but I mean, come on). The film really is just what I said before – adequate, and occasionally the cinematography throws something sensational at you. But the movie just doesn’t have any flow or build, despite anything else it has going for it. Kind of a shame.
The transfer on the disc is murky and overly warm, though this may very well have been the best print available, so I guess I can’t ask for much. Included are trailers for the original My Bloody Valentine and The Monster Squad, as well as Dirty Dancing.
DVD Bonus Features:
Besides the trailer for Slaughter High, the only other special feature (besides the box art, which I think is as jazzy and wild as Harry Manfredini’s score) is a trivia track which runs throughout the film. Less than half of these factoids and queries have anything to do with the film, and more than half of those that do relate to actress Caroline Munro (The Bond girl in The Spy Who Loved Me). Most of the trivia has to do with things happening onscreen, such as when a bra is thrown early on and this pops up:
“Mary Phelps Jacob patented the first modern day brassiere.”
Or later on when some jerkwads pass Marty a joint, and this SAT-level conundrum rears its head:
A ‘joint’ most commonly contains what drug?
a. Tobacco b. Cocaine c. Cannabis d. Heroin
It’s all pretty dumb, but if you’re gonna watch the movie, you may as well turn it on to kill some of the many dead spots.
"Slaughter High" is on sale April 14, 2009 and is rated NR. Horror. Directed by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, Peter Litten. Written by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, Peter Litten. Starring Billy Hartman, Caroline Munroe, Gary Martin.
