I heard directors Neveldine and Taylor talk in an interview about Crank 2 a year ago. In it, they told the story of how they had decided not to submit the screenplay if it weren’t at least twice as extreme as the original. They presented the studio heads with the screenplay, whereupon (if hearsay is to be believed), the studio heads looked at them with cocked heads and inquisitive eyes, unbelieving of what they had just experienced. If I were to make a logical leap, I’d assert that their faces had been rocked so hard by simply a textual version of the film, they must have thought they had just seen the first series entry for the first time.
When I told this story to some friends before seeing Crank High Voltage, they casually asked, “You believe that bullshit?” And for a moment, I questioned it myself. After seeing the film for myself though, I can claim without a moment’s hesitation and with perfect clarity of mind that the tale I’ve just spun gives you, the reader, no semblance of an idea of what to expect from the film should you view it. The understatement of “twice as extreme,” does so little to describe the overwhelming, unrelenting tenacity of the film that it might as well not have been said at all.
To clarify:
Some of my favorite films in the action genre really have no remote fragment of realistic foundation; Army of Darkness, The Story of Ricky, and yes, Crank – None of these ask you anything but to check your notions of what could conceivably occur within the confines of reality or even under the pretense that there is logic and order in the universe. Crank High Voltage picks up where Crank left off, yes, but more importantly than that, from the first 5 minutes it is at least equally or at most immeasurably more persistently and unwaveringly outlandish and kickass as its predecessor. In fact, its sheer level of chaotic madness makes Crank, in direct comparison, seem positively event-less and boring. Comparing Crank High Voltage to most any action film since, well, the birth of cinema is simply not fair. It’s simply not fair to subject even the all-time masterworks of the genre against the film in terms of unrepentant cinematic adrenaline. They can’t touch it. Die Hard will always be a seminal and infinitely re-watchable genre entry. And, as those in my circle of friends are quite assuredly wont to do, if anyone were to ask me if Crank 2 even touches Die Hard in terms of balls-to-the-wall badassery, I would sit them down and let Neveldine and Taylor’s masterstroke speak for itself. Presently, there simply is no higher standard in action cinema.
You’ll notice I haven’t said a word as to the film’s plot or events. I wouldn’t dream of giving any of it away. Suffice it to say that should you see the film and disagree with my sentiments, suggesting a contrary opinion or, at the very least, a casual argumentative notation, I would surely consider it and open the floor for discussion. That being said, I must turn my sights directly to those of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. Sirs, I defy you to top yourselves. I understand that if the film does well, there could very well be a capper to the trilogy on the horizon. Let me just say this:
Should you indeed one-up Crank High Voltage as you did your previous effort; should you make Crank High Voltage retroactively appear insipid or dull; should you top yourselves… then I don’t in all honesty see what you’re doing making movies when there’s world hunger to end and cancer to cure.
I’ve never given a perfect score for a film, and I’m trying to talk myself out of it. My fellow writers on this site have given 10s to only the most exclusive of cinematic masterworks; films, it could be said, which are technically flawless and theoretically inspired; films that, perhaps, could bring hope to those who need it.
On one hand, High Voltage isn’t flawless: There is about a minute and a half of downtime roughly 2/3 into the film. On the other hand, unlike nearly all of the action films I’ve seen in my lifetime, the energy I left the theater with has not diminished. It is now 10:35 AM, Saturday the 18th of April, 2009. I exited the theater 12 hours and 35 minutes ago from this moment, and I still have a palpable current of electric testosterone coursing through my veins, up and down my arms and legs. In this sense, it appears that Crank High Voltage has a long-lasting physical and mental effect well beyond the general confines of its typically in-the-moment genre. And that, in itself, brings me hope for the not-yet-written chapters in the annals of film history. You might read my sentiments in these few cocksure paragraphs and cry "hyperbole!", but I will attest to the very day I pass from this plain of existence that nothing I have said while writing this piece is anything less than I what I honestly, truthfully believe at this singular moment in time. Perhaps I’ll look back on these words in a year and wonder what I was thinking, but I can tell you with indubitable truth that Crank High Voltage is as close to the perfect action film as you are likely to see for easily the remainder of the decade, and very plausibly for the one following.
"Crank High Voltage" opens April 17, 2009 and is rated R. Action. Directed by Brian Taylor, Mark Neveldine. Written by Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor. Starring Amy Smart, David Carradine, Jason Statham.
