Some movies have shootouts, and some movies are shootouts. Shoot ‘Em Up definitely falls into the latter, as so directly punctuated by the title itself. Plot? That is nothing but a hindrance from—or perhaps a tool to string together—the plenty of gunplays in the film. I can’t really stress this enough: this is a movie made by an action geek, for action geeks. Writer and director Michael Davis obviously did his homework on gratuitous action flicks. It has R-rated kills, creative (not to mention impossible) uses of guns, and cheesy one-liner quips. If you can’t fathom the idea of a movie made up of gunfights, then you have no business sitting in that movie theater.
By that estimation, there’s really no way to put the film into words other than to describe it. It’s guns galore. Violent, sure, but so ridiculously outrageous that there’s no way of taking it seriously. This is Hard Boiled with a tongue-in-cheek slant. Truly, Shoot ‘Em Up is the most fun you can have all season once you get into it. I laughed my ass off for the entire film as it presents once ludicrous situation after another. It’s cool, it’s badass, but it knows that it’s so over-the-top that it’s funny. Yet it’s not so knowingly wink-wink that it becomes a parody of action films, even lovingly. This isn’t Hot Fuzz. For all its chuckles, Shoot ‘Em Up is first and foremost a daring jump to create an action fan’s wet dream, and it very nearly succeeds in reaching that zenith.
I did not jest when I said that it has nothing else going for it besides the action scenes. Even our main character is an anonymous archetype. In the spirit of Clint Eastwood’s western hero, Clive Owen kicks ass as a nameless hobo who accidentally stumbles into a situation that requires him to strap on and click triggers. There’s something about Clive Owen’s appearance that just screams "gritty," and that’s really all there is to it to his character. He just looks cool firing guns. If Hollywood is a fantasyland, this movie is the sole reason to support the Second Amendment. As the movie begins, we see him sitting at a bus stop at night chewing on carrots—which he does throughout the movie (carrots = good for the eyes = better at aiming, get it?)—when a pregnant lady suddenly shows up with evil goons on her tail. Clive Owen interferes, delivers the baby during a warehouse shootout, and when the woman dies, he has to protect the newborn from bad guys who want that baby dead. So, literally, the entire movie, Clive Owen plays Supernanny in a non-stop dash littered with bullets and car chases. It’s Children of Men done by Looney Tunes.
There are three common archetypes in action movies. Clive fills the quota of the loner hero, and the other two archetypes are essential to the hero’s journey. One is the sexy love interest, which in this case is filled out (in more than one way) by the vivacious Monica Bellucci. Her job is to stand sexy and give the hero a mean to release projectiles other than bullets. Her acting tanks, but you’ll get no complaints from here. She gets naked and has sex during a gunfight. Is there anything else on the job requirement? She even lactates in one scene for all you kinky folks. The other archetype is the demented villain, and Paul Giamatti hits one home run of a bad guy. He’s ruthless, slimy, yet hilarious at the same time. He even engages in necrophilia for that added edge. I had to wonder if Michael Davis had been watching Takashi Miike movies.
Shoot ‘Em Up is a movie that doesn’t need endorsements because it knows its own fans before they even started shooting, yet I’m giving it my full support anyway. It rocks at volume level 11, that’s all there is to it. For a pure giggling fist-pumping good time, it’s unchallenged by any action movie of 2007.
"Shoot 'Em Up" opens September 7, 2007 and is rated R. Action. Written and directed by Michael Davis. Starring Clive Owen, Monica Bellucci, Paul Giamatti.
