Maybe you hadn't noticed but Tim Allen's epic trilogy of The Santa Clause has come to an end. Tim Allen's firm death grip on the neck of children's Christmas movies has finally loosened - and lo and behold Fred Claus has slipped some fingers in to help pry away the former Tool Man's hand. But don't be fooled, Fred Claus has no intention of improving on children's Christmas movie fare. Oh no, Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti would rather replace a crappy holiday franchise with a (hopefully) one-time failure. Fred Claus suffers from bad writing, directing and acting (all the components of a movie).
When they were young, Fred Claus made a promise to his younger brother Nicholas - "I will be the best big brother ever". Or something like that. But as Nicholas became the favorite child and Fred became marginalized, the two brothers drifted apart. 30 years later sees Fred attempting to start up an Off Track Betting facility in downtown Chicago - and well, Nicholas has fulfilled that traditional prophecy and become Santa Claus. Unfortunately, any business owner will tell you to start a business you need startup capital, an asset that Fred sorely lacks. In exchange for the $50,000 to pay for a prime downtown location, Fred agrees to trek to the North Pole to help his brother Santa in the two busiest weeks of the year.
Santa however gets more than he bargained for as Fred mixes things up and attracts the attention of the visiting efficiency expert Clyde (Kevin Spacey). This unexpected kink in the finely tuned cogs of Santa's workshop gives Clyde the opportunity he needs to instate a three strikes policy - if three things go wrong before Christmas, the task of making and delivering Christmas gifts will be outsourced to the South Pole. With Santa under the gun and Fred safely sequestered to a desk job in some locked away room - no one notices Clyde sabotaging the progress of the elves.
So much went wrong in this train wreck of a Christmas "comedy". All of the jokes feel recycled from the Santa Claus movies and even Elf. Did Director Dobkins not realize that a full grown man sleeping in an Elf-size bed had already been done? Did Paul Giamatti get forced into this movie by movie deal contracts with the studio? I have to believe so. Otherwise nothing makes sense. Paul Giamatti plays through the movie like he's on Quaaludes the entire time. You can tell he did not want to do this movie. Vince Vaughn has always shown that no matter what movie you put him in he'll always play the same fast-talking sleaze. However, he's proven in Fred Claus that sometimes that stereotypically Vince Vaughn character can lack the humor that it usually entails.
The hardest I laughed - meaning, the only time I laughed - was when Giamatti confronts Spacey with his hatred for Christmas and the script allows for a brilliant piece of comedy based on Spacey's experience playing Lex Luthor in Superman Returns. The bit only lasts for three minutes though - meaning overall the film is left unredeemed.
But what really bugs me about Fred Claus? Director David Dobkin wasn't content to use midgets (or dwarves, vertically disinclined - I don't know the PC term anymore) for the parts of the more screen-prominent elves and instead used CG technology to take the heads of famous actors and put them on elf-like bodies. It's a Frankenstein experiment gone horribly wrong and it looks like crap for the entire movie. If you're going to have elves in your story use people that fit the description without a computer's help. David Dobkin is not Peter Jackson and simply doesn't have the camera know-how to change an actor's height with camera techniques. With that said - John Michael Higgins: what the hell were you thinking? Higgins played Willie, the loveable manager elf who served as Fred's slave...err...I mean personal assistant throughout the older brother's stay in the North Pole.
Every contrived plot device that could exist in a Santa Claus movie found its way into Fred Claus. What's worse? They'd all been used before; making Fred Claus a virtual "Best of Bad Santa Claus Gags" for the whole family. Personally, I'd recommend just renting Elf and the first Santa Claus. You'll laugh more and the jokes find better execution with more talented directors and casts.
I hope a better holiday movie comes along and knocks Fred Claus into the background. It would be a shame if Fred Claus became the Christmas movie of 2007.
"Fred Claus" opens November 9, 2007 and is rated PG. Comedy. Directed by David Dobkin. Written by Dan Fogelman, Jessie Nelson (story). Starring Elizabeth Banks, John Michael Higgins, Kathy Bates, Kevin Spacey, Miranda Richardson, Paul Giamatti, Rachel Weisz, Vince Vaughn.
