There was a time when parodies had more tact than to use farts, poop and urine as the butt of all jokes. Obviously the most memorable examples come from Mel Brooks who set the standard for parodies with Spaceballs and Robin Hood Men in Tights. These were parodies that took the source material and added something. Apparently the Weinsteins think this to be far too much work so they settle for shite like The _______ Blank Movie (insert date/epic/scary). The Superhero Movie is no exception to the shitty parody rule.
Rick Riker (Drake Bell) is a wannabe Peter Parker knock-off incapable of spouting an original narrative so he steals lines verbatim from his eight-legged inspiration. One day he finds himself the victim of a super dragonfly bite and inherits its powers. Wouldn't you know it - Lou Landers (Christopher McDonald) undergoes an experimental scientific procedure and finds himself with powers identical to those of the Vulture - absorbing the lifeforce of those around him to prolong his own. Did you see Spider-man? If yes - then I don't need to explain the plot any further. If no - what the hell is going on with you? Go watch it! Now. I'm not kidding.
Craig Mazin who wrote and directed this worthless poop-pile has no business doing either. It's pretty clear he learned both crafts after watching Epic Movie and Date Movie and has no intention of improving upon those calamities. Granted - it's funnier than those two films - but only because those two movies were entirely devoid of a single funny moment.
I can't stress this enough. Do not see this movie. If you have a choice between voluntary castration and seeing Superhero Movie - okay bad example. But it's reallllly bad. Just don't see it. Why do critics exist? To help you discover movies you might not have considered seeing and to steer you away from the ones who will drain you of your life's meaning.
The one glimmer of hope Superhero Movie had was Leslie Nielsen. The man's deadpan comedy ability knows no rival yet Craig Mazin squanders it. Gone are the hilarious days of The Naked Gun series. Superhero Movie makes me fear Leslie Nielsen is but a shell of the man he used to be - kind of like Chevy Chase. It's funny but 30 Rock had made me believe that maybe Tracy Morgan was capable of comedy - but Superhero Movie casts that into doubt once again. His hopefully funny turn as a Professor X copy crashes and burns. There's nothing good about it. It's miserable.
When will these writers realize that pop-culture references are not a reasonable substitute for actual comedy writing? Bad joke. Bad joke. YouTube reference. Bad joke. Man screams like woman. Bad joke. Facebook reference. Bad joke. Paula Abdul. Bad joke. I know Family Guy does this all the time - pop culture references are their bread and butter. But they do it well. Ah yes, subtle difference.
There're maybe one or two running gags that come out well - most notably the unfortunate tendency of Drake to suffer from painful rebound syndrome. It happens a lot but it's pretty funny. Beyond that no redeeming qualities. None.
Superhero movies are ripe for parody. The ridiculous nature of their subject matter virtually screams for someone to come along and lampoon them. Unfortunately, all Craig Mazin has done is copy a popular film verbatim and thrown in some grade school humor. Hey, if you're in grade school - don't waste your allowance. Buy a bag of Snickers bars - I'd rather you added yourself to the growing youth obesity statistic than see this tripe.
Stay away. I can't stress this enough. Don't even rent it. If it's on television on HBO - skip past it. Happy Days reruns have more potential. I can't say this any other way. You won't get your money back. You'll want it back. You'll complain to the ticket booth. They'll just laugh.
No I didn't forget to enter values for the scores. It's all zero. All the way. Impressive in its own sick way.
"Superhero Movie" opens March 28, 2008 and is rated PG13. Comedy. Written and directed by Craig Mazin. Starring Christopher McDonald, Drake Bell, Leslie Nielsen, Sara Paxton, Tracy Morgan.
