Chéri is without a doubt the worst Michelle Pfeiffer movie ever. It’s not her fault, really. She’s a terrific actress. The issue is that she had nothing to work with, as the story line and the writing are absolutely dreadful.
Pfeiffer’s character, Lea, is an aging courtesan who agrees to take her friend and rival courtesan’s son, Chéri, under her wing and teach him about women. I know this because I read the back of the box. In the actual movie, Charlotte, the rival, invites Lea to lunch and when Lea leaves, she takes Chéri with her for six years as her lover. Charlotte uses this time to arrange a marriage for him to Edmée, the daughter of yet another courtesan. Chéri marries her without complaint and for the rest of the movie, he and Lea mope in separate locales about how they miss each other, while Edmée mopes that her husband misses a courtesan.
One of the biggest faults with this movie, other than the fact it was made, is the pacing. The movie goes so quickly that you have no idea what is going on. Luckily, not much change occurs, unless you consider the setting in which everyone is pining away shifting, so you don’t have to worry about that too much. Scenes are ended by dimming the lights at the oddest times, and inevitably the ending is as abrupt as the scene changes.
The characters are ridiculously contrived and one dimensional. Chéri is a pompous ass who cares about no one else. If this is a love story, it’s the story of Chéri’s love for himself. All he ever talks about is how everyone should take care of him and how much he misses Lea, but he forgets that he never argued against marrying another woman. He just assumes that Lea will continue to be there for him after he gets married. Edmée, his wife, is exceedingly dull and refuses to be anything other than weak-minded and pathetic. And if Charlotte had said one more word, I might have muted it and stuck with the captions. Even Lea bothers me with her pitiable brooding. Someone should lend her their copy of He’s Just Not That Into You.
Also, the narrator should have been written out. The writer apparently decided that in order to have one character that’s not repulsive and obviously wretched, he would add a narrator. Unfortunately, there is really no place for one, so he ends up telling bits of the story that characters then jump in and expound upon or voicing things like emotions that should be expressed through facial expressions. This is helpful at the beginning, when Rupert Friend (who plays Chéri) has not yet learned to act. However, by the end of the movie, Friend has figured it out and doesn’t need someone to explain that he is sulking, so the narrator becomes worthless.
Overall, I would say this movie is not even worth the time it takes to pop it in your DVD player. Do yourself a favor and skip it.
DVD Bonus Features
There is a very basic featurette entitled "The Making of Chéri", which seems fascinating if watched directly after finishing the movie, but is not actually that thrilling when watched again later. Also, there are two deleted scenes, one of which is only 17 seconds long, and both of which are completely a waste of time. The best part of the entire DVD is the trailer for Everybody’s Fine, which I wish I had watched instead of this movie. Now that looks fabulous.
"Chéri" is on sale October 20, 2009 and is rated R. Drama, Romance. Directed by Stephen Frears. Written by Christopher Hampton. Starring Kathy Bates, Michelle Pfeiffer, Rupert Friend, Felicity Jones, Frances Tomelty, Anita Pallenberg.
