When he isn’t skulking around the dark and blood-splattered alleyways of the Mexican underworld, director Robert Rodriguez runs a nice, profitable sideline in garish, high-energy kid flicks. A quick Read of his resume: Spy Kids, Once upon a time in Mexico, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl, Planet Terror, Shorts, and next up Machette, can give the impression the helmer is the ultimate proponent of the “one for them, one for me” school of filmmaking. Except, of course, they’re all for him. Once again he cheerfully does the whole shebang; writer, producer, handling the score, overseeing the effects, presumably on a diet of enough sugar to single-handedly raise the GDP of Brazil. Perhaps he just likes the change of pace.
With that in mind this is yet another high-concept, pre-teen wish-fulfillment fantasy that finds the corporate controlled suburb of Black Falls thrown into colorful CGI chaos when put-upon nerd Toe Thompson (Jimmy Bennett) and his neighborhood pals discover a rainbow rock that grants the wishes of anyone holding it. Cue a torrential pixilated onslaught of giant robots, tiny space aliens, and the man-eating boogers. Lovely. It's every bit as utterly nonsensical as it sounds, and aimed squarely at the ADD ravaged minds of the under-tens courtesy of a director who is, for all intents and purposes, a big kid himself.
Comically, Rodriguez exhibits a distinct lack of patience with his own movie, zipping back and fourth in time, complete with giant forward and rewind symbols on screen to guide us through this series of vignettes - "shorts," if you will. Kids will likely love it and be memorized by the whirlwind of anything-you-like possibilities, while adults will weep at the excruciating stream-of-consciousness nature of it all, and the preoccupation with icky-sticky sight gags that miss more often than they hit. Another oddity is the way that the "plot," to use the term loosely, spends an inordinate amount of time paying homage to genre classics that the nippers in the audience will be too young to have ever seen; the likes of *Batteries Not Included, The Blob, The Omen, and any number of Japanese monster movies.
The kids aren't bad, but despite being tasked with little more than running around madly, Bennett is no Macaulay Culkin (yeah, I said it!). Similarly, as the neighborhood's pint-sized bully Helvetica Black, Jolie Vanier is no Christina Ricci either. Although the demonic chanting of her name by chorus whenever she is on screen is a nice touch. A few name actors also pick up a paycheck, notably William H. Macy as a germ-phobic research scientist (who must battle the booger!), and James Spader as the diabolically bland corporate bigwig who covets the rock for his own ends. Kat Dennings, who presumably was so excited by the indie cred of working with Rodriguez she neglected to read the script first, is practically a non-entity in the token role of annoying big sister.
Somewhere buried under all this is a basic Aesop's fable akin to be careful what you wish for, which basically boils down to Mr. & Mrs. Thompson (John Cryer and Leslie Mann) remarking to each other "Be careful what you wish for." But it will be a miracle if the kids can discern anything above the screech of pterodactyls and the roar of man-eating alligators. Honestly, trying to teach kids the lesson of measure and self-restraint after they have just sat through this is like giving a guy a lapdance and a line of coke while you lecture him on the many virtues of drug-free chastity.
Blu-ray Bonus Features
The Making of Shorts is a brief but insightful chat with Rodriguez and cast that details the many stunts, props, and effects that went into creating the many anarchic set-pieces. Also included is Show and Tell, which is a behind-the-scenes series focusing on the kids which essentially covers just how much of a giggle it is to hang out on a movie set with a bunch of other kids your own age. The Ten Minute Film School feature showcases the one-man-band that is Rodriguez exhaustively laying out the movie from concept to completion...in ten minutes. Best of all is the Ten Minute Cooking School in which Rodriguez invites you into his kitchen where he and the absolutely adorable Rhianna Rodriguez instruct you in the baking of chocolate volcano cookies. Seriously.
"Shorts" is on sale November 24, 2009 and is rated PG. Children & Family. Directed by Robert Rodriguez. Written by Robert Rodriguez & Alvaro Rodriguez. Starring James Spader, Jimmy Bennett, Jolie Vanier, Kat Dennings, William H Macy.
