If the twelfth season of The Simpsons had one redeeming episode in every four, you’ll realize just how good we had it that season. At least then we had about six solid episodes in the season, with the thirteenth season, we should count ourselves lucky if even 3 are watchable. The rest is pure schlock masquerading as the show we once knew and loved. Rarely, if ever, is there a clever joke or piece of worthwhile social commentary mixed in to the weakly constructed episodes where in seasons past we had genius concepts confronting the hypocrisy of banning brothels, religion, and family values as a whole. The Simpsons earned a name as the ultimate lampoon of social tropes for a solid ten seasons, and then, almost overnight (in this case, in the span of three seasons) it lost it all.
The gimmicks employed as each episode’s plot in this regrettable season will make the devotees of the olden days scream with rage. Not only is there an awfully framed clip show episode, but some of the most poorly thought out premises for Simpsons episodes begin popping up here. Before you even put a disc in your player, open up the episode guide to Matt Groening’s written introduction and you get a taste for what the comedy of the series has devolved to by this point. Groening doesn’t really have anything good to say about the season himself, and instead attempts to write a humorous little piece on triskaidekaphobia wherein he summarizes some of the episodes in the season…and that’s it. Having read the little intro into each season, it’s odd to read one where Groening doesn’t talk about a favorite episode or memorable moment. It’s just an empty list.
The thirteenth starts with a staple of the Simpsons series since the second season, a Treehouse of Horror (#12), and it’s flat-out horrible. Popular culture had begun rearing its ugly head as a focus in some of the past seasons, but this first episode sets the tone for the season and it’s an ear-splitting, aggravating tone. Nods to Harry Potter (which aren’t inherently a bad thing, unless done ineptly) and 2001: A Space Odyssey, the latter having an almost identical plot to the “Love and Rocket” episode of Futurama, which aired almost exactly two months later – the Futurama episode easily wins in terms of quality. It only goes downhill from here, and if you haven’t already drawn this conclusion, peaking at a lowpoint in the first episode of a season bodes poorly for the remaining 21.
From there on out The Simpsons you loved in season 5 or 8 are nowhere to be seen, in their place are pop culture referencing schmucks whose adventures pale in comparison to everything your favorite yellow family has done before.
In short, a judge sentences Homer and Bart to be tethered together; Homer takes over Moe’s bar; Mr. Burns falls in love with a much younger woman; Homer recalls a traumatic experience from his youth (this episode is total rubbish); Mr. Burns commercializes the church; the family’s therapy comes crashing down when a woman Homer married in Vegas shows up again; Springfield is America’s most obese town; Homer breaks his jaw and becomes a better husband for it; the plot from Indecent Proposal is used; Bart gets jealous when Milhhouse dates his ex-girlfriend; an old western film star has his career revitalized when Bart meets him; Grandpa steals Homer’s car, wrecks it, and flees to Missouri; the Simpsons re-enact the stories of The Odyssey, Joan of Arc, and Hamlet (one of the worst, most hackneyed episodes in the season); they go to Brazil to rescue an orphan, Homer gets kidnapped (almost decent); Homer gets hooked on medicinal marijuana (And back to sucking); starts with a hideously, unforgivably unfunny send-up of Forrest Gump, and leads to a roast of Homer Simpson; Bart creates a comic based on Homer called “Angry Dad”; Apu has an affair with a younger woman; Lisa becomes a gymnast, Bart lives in a bubble; Homer is framed for an old woman’s death; and finally Homer becomes a security officer.
If there’s a single decent episode in there, it’s impossible to appreciate it drowned in the mire of incompetent comedy writing. The only good thing that can be said about the season is the packaging, which has a Ralph Wiggum cover and the inside is devoted to an arcade with discs that feature imagery from the old Simpsons arcade game.
Guest stars include: Pierce Brosnan, Matthew Perry, Marcia Wallace, Jane Kaczmarek, R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe, Mike Mills & Peter Buck, George Takei, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Joe Mantegna, Paul Newman, Richard Gere, Ben Stiller, Jon Lovitz, Wolfgang Puck, Reese Witherspoon, Dennis Weaver, Frank Welker, Olympia Dukakis, Phish, Stan Lee, James Lipton, Carmen Electra, and then, all wasted in one episode, Ed Asner, Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger, Stephen Hawking, Ron Howard, Elton John, Lucy Lawless, Joe Namath, Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake, Elizabeth Taylor, and U2. What a waste.
We’re calling it: the first Simpsons season completely undeserving of your purchase.
DVD Bonus Features
4 featurettes differentiate each disc from one another, and they’re titled (in order of disc appearance) as follows: “Ralphisms” (disc 1), “The People Ball” & “The 13th Crewman” (Disc 2), “Blame it on the Monkeys” & “The Games” (disc 3), and “The Sweet Life of Ralph”. These are the notable entries in the extra features list beside the basic audio commentaries, deleted scenes, sketch galleries, and commercials. However, none of this means anything in the face of an abominable season of The Simpsons which would be better lost at the bottom of the sea.
"The Simpsons: The Thirteenth Season" is on sale August 24, 2010 and is not rated. Animation, Comedy. Directed by Jen Kamerman, Jim Reardon, Lance Kramer, Lauren MacMullen, Mark Kirkland, Matthew Nastuk, Michael Polcino, Steven Dean Moore. Written by Jon Vitti, John Swartzwelder, Ian Maxtone-Graham, Dana Gould, Joel H. Cohen; Carolyn Omine, John Frink, Don Payne, . Starring Dan Castellaneta, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith.
