Whoever thought that constantly remaking these cheesy '80s teen horror films, using a cast of thirty-something, D-List actors was is good idea, obviously has more optimism than creativity. This low-budget remake of Night of the Demons is a mess on so many levels, we can only wonder why someone wasted their whole weekend making this film. Assuming it took that long.
The original Night of the Demons was no masterpiece to begin with, although it had enough of a cult following to earn two awful sequels. Why we needed to revisit this unimaginative story is a bigger mystery than the motivations of the titular demons. If schlock-meister Adam Gierasch, the writer-director of this cinematic suppository, had managed to improve on the first film, then an argument could be made for the existence of this ridiculous retread. Alas, Gierasch only manages to turn '80s mediocrity into modern manure.
The first problem that hits the viewer in the face is that the cast of actors are far too old to be playing these characters. Although the exact ages of the hard-partying, heavy-drinking characters are never explicitly stated, everyone in the film behaves like hormonal, horny teenagers. The original Night of the Demons was about a group of high school kids, so this clichéd remake writes the characters exactly the same way. The only one who seems to have a job is the drug dealer. The problem with this is that most of the main actors are in their thirties. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but weren’t there any younger actors available? Shannon Elizabeth (age 37), Eddie Furlong (33) and Monica Keena (31) aren’t exactly guaranteed box-office draws, so why spend the money to hire these semi-stars, rather than getting some age-appropriate unknowns?
The so-called plot begins when Goth-girl Angela (Shannon Elizabeth) throws a wild Halloween party in an old, haunted house. She gloats that his party will be the "most decadent one ever." A trio of boy-crazy girls named Maddie (Monica Keena from Freddy vs. Jason), Suzanne (Bobbie Sue Luther) and Lily (Diora Baird), are getting ready for the part, fretting over whether the guys they like will be there, and lovingly calling each other names like “Bee-atch”, “Whore” and “Slut.” They give us some unnecessary exposition and then head off for the party.
Also en route to the costumed shindig are Dexter (John Beach) and Jason (Michael Copon), as well as Maddie’s drug-dispensing ex-boyfriend Colin (Edward Furlong of Terminator 2 fame), who owes money to his nefarious narcotics supplier. Colin has 24 hours to pay up and hopes he can sell enough drugs at the party to pay off his debts.
The overlong Halloween bash sequence is shot like an extended music video set at a frat party. After the cops raid the place and send the ravers home, our seven main characters conveniently lag behind so that the police can stupidly lock the front gate, trapping them inside for the night. Making no attempt to scale the fence, our middle-aged teens decide to spend the night playing spin-the-bottle, except for Colin who goes in search of his lost drug stash and finds some dead bodies, left over from an infamous mass murder in the house decades ago. When Angela is bitten by a corpse, she gets infected by a demon and begins to spread the demonic love via lots of sex with the unsuspecting guys and even one of the girls.
Gierasch tries ineptly to add some self-aware humor into the proceedings, such as in the Scream films, but these misplaced efforts misfire and only serve to defuse what little sense of tension he’s managed to imbue this unscary offering. It takes a certain level of skill to create effective, self-effacing satire and the director doesn’t seem to have it.
There are no scares here and Gierasch seems to know that, because he tries everything else to make the film interesting. There’s lots of blood, sex, cleavage, lesbianism, special effects, bad banter and nudity. There’s even a pitiful effort at a romantic subplot between good-girl Maddie and bad-boy Colin, which generates no heat; no chemistry and no touching moments. Yet through it all, the movie remains devoid of entertainment value. The most clichéd moment comes when our heroine Maddie marches down the hall, gun in hand, to confront the demons, announcing, “Come and get me, bitches!”
Shannon Elizabeth seems less than enthusiastic in her performance and Eddie Furlong sleepwalks his way through this mess, and who can blame them? They obviously knew how bad a movie they were making. If you’re one of those fans of the original who said it should never be remade, this new version proves you right.
DVD Bonus Features
Sadly, there are indeed extras included here, for people who didn’t suffer enough from watching the actual film. There’s an audio commentary by Monica Keena, Bobbi Sue Luther, John Beach and director Gierasch. There’s also a behind-the-scenes featurette and clip from Comic-con 2009, where the film was first previewed.
"Night of the Demons" is on sale October 19, 2010 and is rated R. Horror. Directed by Adam Gierasch. Written by Adam Gierasch and Jace Anderson. Starring Edward Furlong, Monica Keena, Shannon Elizabeth.
