Ancient Aliens arrives on Blu-ray as the latest in a long line of intriguing, one-off History Channel specials, the high ratings of which subsequently demanded elongation into a regular series, despite the painful limitations of the subject as a topic for expansive analysis. Less of a history lesson than a succession of crackpot theories serving an excuse to splash the location budget around, Ancient Aliens is supreme quackery of the highest order. A parade of half-baked hokum offered up by a gallery of clearly frustrated science-fiction writers, this series serves as an exercise in pseudo-intellectual musings on the ponderance of ideas that are - to put it politely - completely batshit.
From the arts and crafts of Ancient Egypt to the burial artifacts of the pre-Columbian Calima, the series sifts through remnants of millennia old culture looking for evidence of extra-terrestrial influence, often resorting to the most painful leaps in logic to make their case. An early Egyptian wood carving of what would seem to be a bird actually has aerodynamic design principles that are more in line with a modern day glider, and therefore must in fact be a carving of a prototype glider, and definitely not simply a badly, disproportionately carved model of bird.
Tiny golden trinkets unearthed in the deep jungles of South America are shaped more like modern day fighter jets than dragonflies, and therefore must in fact be carvings of alien craft. This conveniently puts aside the unfortunate truth that these ancient people only had the naked eye to discern the exact shape and proportion of a dragonfly, so it's forgivable that their representations might be a little bit off.
It's disappointing, but hardly unsurprising considering who they lined up to give testimony; authors of books such as Aircraft of the Pharaohs, and Technology of the Gods, along with guys who put out publications such as Legendary Times. Men whose reputations and, to a certain extent, livelihoods depends on debate over these ideas continuing to rage. After all, what is a snake oil salesman likely to say when you ask him about snake oil?
It's not all nonsense, mind. The sections that cover the monumental feats of engineering, seemingly accomplished with naught but the most basic tools, are genuinely fascinating. Ancient structures around the world display a level of precision and execution that borders on downright baffling, making the theorizing of just how much knowledge was perhaps purged from history - likely in some ancient equivalent of the dark ages - an interesting discussion to listen in on.
All too often, though, such discussion is given a backseat to wild-eyed basement dwellers projecting their fantasies, often based on little more than a few obscure lines of ancient texts interpreted the way they want to interpret them. These are men who should know better, who apparently have absolutely no regard for the phrase "lost in translation." Frankly, if the endless majesty of the night sky could have sparked the imaginations of men, the likes of L. Ron Hubbard in the 1950's, it could have just as easily inspired those of scribes staring upwards in wonderment some 4000 years previous. It's really that simple.
Blu-ray Bonus Features
Packaged along with the five episodes comprising season one is the original documentary special, Ancient Aliens: Chariots, Gods, and Beyond, which served as the defacto pilot.
"Ancient Aliens: Season One" is on sale November 16, 2010 and is not rated. Documentary, Sci-Fi. Directed by Various Anthology. Written by N/A. Starring Robert Clotworthy.
