Imagine a film that combines the plots of Armageddon and Alien, and puts everyone in swinging 60s attire. That more or less approximates to The Green Slime, a film that so perfectly embraces the schlock sci-fi genre with everything from cardboard characters, clichéd dialogue, rubber suit monsters, and horrifically flawed science. A recipe for cinematic entertainment if ever there was one.
Oscar caliber filmmaking this is not. Yet, that doesn't make it the kind of film that we all love sitting down to watch from time to time, if only to make fun of how terrible it is. The story follows the crew of a space station who are tasked with docking with a large planet-like object that is on a collision course with Earth, drill into it, set explosives and then outrun the blast (Bruce Willis and Michael Bay not included). Seems like more than enough plot for any film, but not this one. While investigating the asteroid the crew stumbles across the aptly named green slime, which despite the doctor's desire to take back aboard the ship, the crew decides to leave behind; or so they think. Needless to say, the slime gets aboard and the fun begins.
Robert Horton stars as Commander Jack Rankin, more or less a Charlton Heston lookalike, complete with the requisite chiseled jaw and perfectly quaffed hair that doesn’t ever move. Seriously, how much product did they have to use to achieve that effect? Horton, along with the rest of the cast is pretty much a cobbled together crew of non-name actors who appear from time to time as bit characters in various other films. If anything watching The Green Slime will improve your ability to spot "that guy" or girl in various other sixties films.
So the plot is hackneyed and the acting is a joke; the effects must make up for it right? No, not at all. Even for its time, The Green Slime has horrendous effects. Being of the Japanese cinema, some of the effects and stunts will appear very familiar to fans of the Godzilla franchise which used rubber suits and cheap laser effects with aplomb.
With all of these shortcomings, you might wonder why anyone would ever want to watch this film, much less own it. The reason is simply because it is fun. More importantly it proves that engaging plot, cool special effects or award winning acting don’t really ever play into the fun quotient of a film. The experience of it is what matters, and in fact, the extent to which those other elements are present or not can actually inform the level of fun. That and the filmmakers decided to write and employ a theme song for The Green Slime that leads the opening and closing credits. Any movie that decides that it needs a "Spiderman meets Monster Mash" theme song to set the mood and the expectations for the rest of the movie is alright in my book. Especially when schlocky sci-fi is involved.
The Green Slime is the perfect film to watch with friends, to break out on a night where no one can decide exactly what movie to watch. It has that perfect Mystery Science Theatre quality to it, where everyone can get in on providing a running commentary without worry that you’ll talk over an important plot point or intense moment of characterization, because trust me there are none. Instead, we are treated to scene after scene just waiting to be lampooned.
So when next you get together the usual suspects on a weekend night full of promise, caffeine, and fried snack foods treat your friends to The Green Slime.
DVD Bonus Features
There are no special features associated with the DVD. The only thing on the disk is the copy of the film. In fact, there is nothing but a splash screen and an option to “play movie” so the basic extras of scene selection, captions, language selection, and sound setup are not even available.
"The Green Slime" is on sale October 26, 2010 and is not rated. Sci-Fi. Directed by Kinji Fukasaku. Written by Bill Finger . Starring Robert Horton.
