When a comedy requires more suspension of disbelief than The Abyss, you know there’s a problem. Legally Blonde won over audiences by having just enough humility to know that its plot was ludicrous, while still shoeing in some laughs to melt even the most cynical hearts. And then they made a sequel, and they stretched the joke more than it could take. Legally Blonde 2 took the aspects of the original that just barely stayed within the limits of good taste and warped them into some horrific monster capable of slaying comedy and all its loved ones. Movies like Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde represent the death of comedy.
Hot off her shallow victory in the original, Elle (Reese Witherspoon) has two big tasks ahead of her. First she has to plan the perfect wedding after her too-smart-for-her boyfriend (Luke Wilson) proposes. Second, she has to fight animal testing of beauty products so that her beloved dog’s mother - a test subject for a major cosmetic company - will be released and able to attend her wedding. Elle heads to D.C. where she has a position in a senator’s office (courtesy of sorority connections) and begins the process of making our capitol stupider. Just as in the original, it seems wherever she goes, people become fools who can’t see past a bubbly exterior to the glaringly annoying and incapable person that lies beneath. Elle makes quick progress in getting her bill up for voting, only to have it blocked in typical D.C. politicking leaving her to go all out and push it through. The film starts at a few levels beneath the original, and it only goes downhill from there, and rather quickly.
Perhaps it’s telling that neither the director (Robert Luketic) nor writer (Karen McCullah Lutz) of the first Legally Blonde film returned for the sequel. Maybe they recognized that the very pink one-trick pony wouldn’t make it through another film. If they had this epiphany, they didn’t share it with the newcomers and left them to create a film that simply rolls about in contrived, scented squalor. While it would be somewhat comforting to point fingers at either director Charles Herman-Wurmfeld or writer Kate Kondell as the reason Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde lands with a deafening thud and actually manages to deny laughter wherever it plays. But really, no single person is to blame. This film is a dud through and through.
Director Herman-Wurmfeld delivers a film totally lacking in comic timing, thought it matters little in light of Kondell’s script which from the very first lines relies entirely on jokes established in the first film and never, not once, branches out to add something new. Smart characters turning into slack-jawed, fashion-obsessed yokels at Elle’s insistence was barely funny the first time around, and this time it’s actually insulting. How, as a lawyer, could you watch this and not feel it was suggesting that even the most dim-witted human being could excel in the profession? Instead, the reality of it all is much closer to the one that exists in the senator’s office prior to Elle’s arrival: bill’s take hours of research and negotiation to even get to the voting floor, never mind finding their way into enough politicians’ good graces for safe passage. But hey, if Legally Blonde 2 makes any sense at all, all that’s required is doing a secret handshake with a high-ranking politico who happens to also be a sorority sister and spending time in the dog-walking park with another.
Again, if you can swallow any of the bitter comedy or plot that Legally Blonde 2 has to offer, you should watch the non-fiction odyssey called The Abyss. It’s all true. All of it.
Also starring Jennifer Coolidge, Sally Field, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Regina King, and Bruce McGill.
Blu-ray Bonus Features
Like many bad comedies, the extras on the disc are ultimately more rewarding than the main feature as you get to see where everything went wrong. After the deleted scenes and a gag reel, an assortment of featurettes cover topics ranging from hairstyle construction, outfits, filming in D.C., the dogs of the film, and even a music video by LeAnn Rimes. In fact, if you’re absolutely dead set on watching the film, turn on the audio commentary, there’s at least something substantial there.
"Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde" is on sale March 29, 2011 and is rated PG13. Comedy. Directed by Charles Herman Wurmfeld. Written by Amanda Brown (characters), Kate Kondell (screenplay). Starring Jennifer Coolidge, Luke Wilson, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Reese Witherspoon, Sally Field.
