It seems almost ridiculous to review this DVD. Christian media production is so well targeted, so carefully marketed, and so thoroughly niche, that when it appears in front of us laymen, it's hard to know what to make of it. Charlton Heston Presents the Bible is no different, although the concurrence of the movie star with the subject matter may give it slightly wider interest than your average Christian DVD. Still, if you have to ask if this is for you, then it’s probably not.
But here we are anyway, so let’s get into it. First of all, I was going to talk about how Heston went from a scenery chewing leading man into a narcissistic right wing crazy, but I think I’ll just leave it to him, as he is quoted on the inside of the DVD case: “Ever since playing Moses in The Ten Commandments I’ve felt a deep, personal connection with the Bible which remains as vivid and vital today as when it was told around campfires centuries before there was any written language.” That pretty much sums it up: Mel Gibson syndrome (although Heston was probably less of a raging alcoholic homophobic girlfriend beating psychopath).
Divided into four parts: Genesis, The Story of Moses, Jesus of Nazareth and The Passion, Charlton Heston reads the bible’s greatest hits like a college freshman doing his final semester reading in Theater 101. Here we have gray haired stately Heston, not quite fully old and decrepit, but no longer a spring chicken. Mostly costumed in cotton dress shirts, Heston sometimes appears in a hilarious white cravat and white half-upturned safari hat. I gotta give it to Heston, though, that deep, resonant voice is stirring.
The production values are pretty high. He drives around Israel in a Jeep (yeah, it’s just as funny as you think) and reads the bible from a variety of holy historic places. He reads a couple verses, then gives a little narration/commentary. The camera swings around him, and then cuts to famous paintings and depictions of the scene he describes. Of course, the music is unbearably goofy, just really melodramatic and ridiculous, and it’s a shame to see the paintings of Goya and Bosch (among many others) used thusly. Still, it looks good, sounds good, and moves at an eminently watchable pace.
Before I watched this, I couldn’t imagine any reason for a non-religious person to do so. But it has certain charms, many of them so-bad-it's-good. Heston hiking through holy sites in Israel, rowing a rowboat in ocean coves, and reading from the bible in ancient ruins at torchlight, with said white cravat, hat, and occasionally a big walking stick is hilarious. Driving through the desert, acting like a latter day Ben-Hur (with Jeep instead of chariot), Heston really makes an ass of himself, which I find satisfying.
As an avowed atheist, I’ve read both the Old Testament and the New Testament, and believe that everyone who lives in our society should do so, at the very least to understand these foundational texts, and be able to speak with those among us who are deeply religious. Some of the historical facts Heston tells about the “Holy Land” are quite interesting. And if you don’t know the basic stories of the bible, you haven’t read any of it, and you want a quick summary of the first and fifth book of the Old Testament (Genesis and Exodus), and a close look at the four gospels of the New Testament (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Jon) you would probably learn something from this DVD set. Unfortunately, Heston inserts his own commentary (particularly egregious in The Passion), and his readings of the texts are basic, biased and uninformative. Instead of buying these DVDs, if you’re curious, just pick up a Bible and give it a read. It’ll be cheaper and more interesting.
DVD Bonus Features
Behind the scenes documentaries. Totally decent, but nothing particularly revelatory.
"Charlton Heston Presents the Bible" is on sale March 29, 2011 and is not rated. Christian. Directed by Tony Westman. Written by Charlton Heston. Starring Charlton Heston.
