The Resident is a colossal disappointment. Packing two-time Best Actress Hilary Swank opposite Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Watchmen), the movie was intriguing and well-acted until a narrative tailspin that begins abruptly at minute 30. What had the potential to be an eerie thriller hearkening back to the days of complex development and slow-burning plots that got under our skin, becomes a trivial, one-note story that drags on for an utterly useless and nearly unwatchable hour.
ER doctor Juliet (Hilary Swank) wanders around New York looking for a new apartment after the “love of her life” cheats on her. Miraculously, she finds an absolutely breathtaking loft with a view of the East River and the Brooklyn Bridge. The owner/landlord, Max (Jeffery Dean Morgan), gives her an offer she can’t refuse, infused with a heavy dose of masculine charm, and Juliet moves in. She bumps into Max’s dad, August (Christopher Lee) on day one and the creepiness begins. Slowly.
Max and Juliet hit it off, and embark on an awkward flirtation that takes them to the park, an art gallery, and, finally, to her bedroom. Up until now, the film has been worth watching. The performances are strong and the characters seem full. The plot is still a question mark, lacking any real scares, but the audience goes with it on faith, assuming they’ll be paid for their patience in spades.
To call the description of this next beat a spoiler, would be to overestimate the intelligence of the film. From minute one, the audience knows what’s going to happen. Max is a creep and is obsessing about her. Hopefully, however, there’s more to it than that. There just isn’t. At minute 30, the film rewinds and you’re forced to rewatch the crucial, albeit meaningless beats between them all over again. The director and editor go to great lengths to find a lip quiver here or strange flick of the eyes there to make Max seem like he was crazy all along. And it’s just plain boring. When a movie backtracks and replays the same footage, they had better have earned that repetition or have a big twist in store. A movie that relies on the device to keep the plot moving, as early as minute 30, obviously had nothing to say and nowhere to go to begin with.
For the next hour (again, no spoilers, because the movie’s just dumb) you’ll watch Max crawl around behind Juliet’s walls. He’ll watch her bathe, break into her place, touch himself, and finally assault her repeatedly while she’s roofied. All of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s endearing energy and rugged charm go out the window as he throws away any semblance of nuance to play one-dimensional loco. Similarly, Hilary Swank is convincing as always for 30-minutes, even showing off a body that reminds us that Brandon from Boys Don’t Cry is still one of the most naturally sexy women working in Hollywood. Unfortunately, she throws her Oscars in the gutter with an hour of adolescent victimization and tearful, “Oh my God, no!” beats. She even gets to throw in the ever popular and eternally idiotic, “Don’t go in the house!”
The actors really aren’t to blame, except, of course, for signing on to such a dud of a script. The filmmaker embraces stupidity, fueling the monotony with ridiculous moments. For instance, Juliet figures out she’s been roofied and calls her ex, with whom she’s rekindled the romance, to tell him not to go in the apartment. Does she call the police as she runs through New York? No. She also has had motion-activated cameras put into her bedroom, but did she check the tapes that morning to watch the assault? No. She gets home, fights with Max, and locks him out. She takes out her iPhone to call the police, but what’s this? It has no signal…in her apartment…where she’s made calls throughout the film. Then it miraculously rings two minutes later...in her apartment…where she just was. The layering of stupidity must have been evident on the page, but with two solid actors and $20 million a whole lot of people still gave the green light to this garbage.
Avoid The Resident and throw on one of the classics. At least then you might feel like Hollywood sees you as an intelligent viewer not to be pandered to.
Blu-ray Bonus Features
Just a trailer and, wow, subtitles. Starting to get the picture that there’s just nothing to this film?
"The Resident" is on sale November 3, 2010 and is rated R. Thriller. Directed by Antti Jokinen. Written by Antti Jokinen and Robert Orr. Starring Christopher Lee, Hillary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
