Jersey Shore: Season Three (Uncensored) Review

The Jersey Shore crew is back from their booze-filled, season-two romp in Miami and are all pumped, tanned and laundreyed up for season three, which takes place at the first-season house on the Jersey shore. What sort of new adventures will these self-proclaimed "guidos" and "guidettes" experience once they're all living yet again under the same roof while back in their home turf?

The short answer is that they all go to clubs, drink, have sex and get into arguments. Usually in that order. But even so, MTV struck gold with Jersey Shore, which essentially combines the better parts of The Real World and slaps a New Jersey/Itailan-ish theme on it, and makes the show almost exclusively about going out to clubs in search of sex. I'm almost afraid to label the cast as either "New Jerseyites" or "Italian" because judging from what the cast do and say, it's a slight against both groups. The male cast members act like complete misogynists and the female cast members appear to revel in it.

But it's not hard to see why the show boasts as many fans as it does. The show has a lot of energy, what with its non-stop soundtrack of house music. The cast, who at this point are not much in need of an introduction, say and do funny things. They're an easy lot to laugh at as long as you keep your distance, because if you don't, and you remind yourself that there are guys out there who do in fact relentlessly rag on girls for their looks, or that there are girls out there whose only goal in life is to be tan and get banged by a guy with a big muscles -- well, it's best not to remind yourself of that. It's like reminding yourself that, although the orangutans at the zoo are funny and act silly, they're in captivity and are only presented for your enjoyment.

The cast is mostly the same. They aren't in need of much of an introduction: Ronnie is the same quick-tempered Ronnie; the Situation, who the world has had ample time to digest, is the same Situation but is less of a presence; Snooki is up to her usual antics of dressing in clothes three sizes too small and then falling on her ass every five minutes because she's drunk; Vinny is still nice, but actually has likely been told by producers to amp up his "Jersey" attitude because since season one, he's become more aggressive; Sammi is still boring and dating Ronnie; Pauly D is still always about having fun and virtually lacks any drama; and then there's the newest addition to the house: Deena. Deena is one of Snooki's good friends, and for all intents and purposes is Snooki's clone, only more annoying.

The producers of the show do a pretty good job at rehashing old rivalries and friendships on the first episode, where the audience sees the cast one-by-one (except for Ronnie and Sammi) move into the house. It's likely that as a precursor to season three of Jersey Shore, MTV showed season two episodes to get the audience back on track. But with the move-in scenes in the first episode, there isn't any need of exposition to understand why J-Woww hates Sammi, or what MVP stands for.

The best parts of the show, however, are where the drama isn't present. How many times can we see Ronnie and Sammi argue about some girl he looked at and still care? How many times can we see J-Woww and Deena fight and not fall asleep? Because the show is themed and repetitive, parts of it get old very fast. It's when there isn't drama, forced or not, that genuine enjoyment starts happening. These parts are usually delivered by Pauly D and Vinnie, who are actually pretty funny dudes, and who eschew any kind of drama. Even when Pauly D encounters a girl the cast claimed was stalking him all last summer, and who ended up throwing a drink in his face during a previous encounter, he still makes good and forgives and forgets. He invites her back to the house and everyone has a good laugh.

This is a great buy for anyone looking to have season three of Jersey Shore at their fingertips. The show itself lacks much of any real value and like any well-produced reality series is kind of addicting, but only ever entertaining when the cast members do stupid things, like when Sammi punches Ronnie for being friends with another cast member, or when Snooki gets arrested on the shore for being drunk in public. It's like watching NASCAR, but only in hopes of seeing a car wreck. There are more worthwhile things to do with one's time, but this series was made for people who have no desire to do so. 

DVD Bonus Features

The extras are spanned on all four discs, the first three containing each an episode of "Jersey Shore: After Dark," which are all full-length episodes of various cast members being interviewed in front of a studio audience by a woman named Julissa Bermudez. All episodes are very much like another extra that's included: the reunion episode, where the cast gets together in the studio to talk about the season's highlights. There's also a five-minute behind-the-scenes look at a photoshoot, some extended scenes, "Hookups" which goes over a handful of memorable scenes where hookups happen or almost happen, and a collection of the season's cast confessionals.

"Jersey Shore: Season Three (Uncensored)" is on sale July 26, 2011 and is not rated. Reality. Directed by Brad Kreisberg. Written by Anthony Beltempo, SallyAnn Salsano. Starring Deena Nicole Cortese, Dj Pauly D, Jenni Farley, Mike The Situation Sorrentino, Nicole Snooki Polizzi, Ronnie Ortiz Magro, Sammi Sweetheart Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino.

Ryan Katona

I grew up in the Midwest and couldn't be prouder of it. There wasn't a whole lot to do though, and since not being athletic was one of my favorite pastimes, watching movies became a hobby. The hobby turned into a career pursuit, which led me to the east coast. I'm now excited that I get to share my two cents on movies.


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