Had Captain America been released in theaters domestically, it would almost certainly be remembered as the worst superhero film ever made, flattering even Batman and Robin and Spider-man 3 by the comparison. As is, it’s something of a curiosity piece, frequently lumped together with Roger Corman’s unreleased Fantastic Four as an obscure film which could only be found through diligent searching or good underground connections. But now, prompted no doubt by the release of last summer’s version, 1990’s Captain America can be seen easily on DVD, and can confirm what anyone who really thought about it suspected all along: it really, really sucks. Despite the presence of promising actors like Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon, and Ronny Cox, it seems unlikely that any single set-piece, line of dialogue, or performance could have found its way into an at all passable adaptation.
The backstory of Captain America is pretty standard stuff, but since you may not be able to discern what it is from watching this film, here it is again: Steve Rogers (Matt Salinger) is as down-home, All-American, mom-and-apple-pie as you can get, but due to his 4F physique, he’s forced to sit out on the most emblematic battle of the nation’s history: World War II. Fortunately (conveniently), scientists have been developing a serum that advances the physical abilities of ordinary men to that of supermen. Within the press of an inoculation needle, Rogers is transformed into Captain America, and sent off to Italy to confront Red Skull (Scott Paulin), a similarly superhuman figure leading the Axis powers. After their first, frankly pathetic confrontation, Captain America is downed, and put into a hibernating state for several decades. Once awakened, he finds himself in the crosshairs of Red Skull yet again, this time because Skull wants to do some bad things to the environment, and the President of the United States would rather that he didn’t.
One can’t really discuss Captain America without making it sound like a catalog of failures, so let’s start with an easy one: after the traditional injection/transformation scene in which Rogers undergoes the procedure, we cut directly to him fully in costume, about to be airdropped into Italy. He’s sitting even, which means that we don’t even see it in full until later, and there’s just this man looking ridiculous for a long time. Directorial choices aside, there’s a certain gravity that needs to be apportioned to aspects of the mythos (the suit, the powers) for a story to make any real impact. Pyun (compared on his imdb page to Ed Wood, a director commonly referred to as the worst of all time) zips the story along with such disregard for pace, character (frequently overlooked as a component of these films), and even common sense that it’s impossible to find an entry point, even when Ned Beatty starts spouting some baloney about Red Skull being behind the deaths of the Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King.
But by far the biggest liability in a film that itself may be considered a liability is the double header of the characterization of Captain America and Matt Salinger’s performance. It’d be hard to conceive of a lead actor less charismatic than Salinger, who delivers lines like “Red Skull!” and “I’d like a sandwich” in the same drab monotone, but it’d be harder to think that any actor could do much with a military hero who screws up monumentally his very first time in combat. His fighting is so hum-drum it could easily be confused for enthusiastic jazz dancing, and his sense of righteousness is so underplayed that one almost has to wonder if anything other than plot necessity is making him fight Nazis. If there is anything that brings some sense of conflict to the film, it is only the performance of Scott Paulin as Red Skull, which certainly isn’t all that good, but it gives the sense that at least someone was having fun with the whole proceeding. It’s not enough to make the film at all salvageable, but it at least foreshadowed that maybe someday, someone would be able to make something out of the Marvel properties.
Bonus Features
The trailer is included.
"Captain America" is on sale August 30, 2011 and is rated PG13. Action, Comic Book. Directed by Albert Pyun. Written by Stephen Tolkin. Starring Ned Beatty, Ronny Cox, Matt Salinger, Darren Mcgavin, Scott Paulin, Melinda Dillon.
