It would not be unfair to say that Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is aggressively awful, but it would be missing the point. Its spastic energy frequently recalls the Adam West Batman series, but of the actors here, only Jeremy Piven seems self-aware enough to avoid being steam-rolled by the constant onslaught of candy-colored visuals and obnoxious puns, to say nothing of its puerile use of 3D (but really, it was only a matter of time until a soiled diaper was hurled into an audience). But while the usual tidal wave of impotent critical angst greeted Spy Kids upon its release, it has receded to show that maybe such outrage isn't really necessary. Unlike other recent offenses to the human spirit, Spy Kids at least has its heart in the right place, even if its eyes and ears are way off.
Marissa Wilson (Jessica Alba) is a prize agent of spy agency OSS; even when going into labor, she continues to pursue dastardly villain the Tick-Tock (Jeremy Piven), who fends off the advances of law enforcement by literally freezing people in time (everything around them keeps going; the rules here are pretty fuzzy). But after he is apprehended, and her baby is  born, she decides to devote her life to her new family with tv host husband Wilbur Wilson (Joel McHale) and his two kids Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook). Their domestic bliss is interrupted, however, by the appearance of the Time-Keeper, another similarly themed villain, with similar plans regarding time and affection for clock-themed puns. Marissa is called back into service, and Rebecca and Cecil are activated as Spy Kids, with the help of the original two: Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni (Daryl Sabara).
As it goes with so many film-makers, Robert Rodriguez's output thins in quality as it expands in quantity: it's hard to believe that the director of the similarly vapid but technically exciting Desperado and Sin City was behind this effort. While all of his most notable films are flamboyant, they also had some idea of when to pull back, at least in comparison with what's on display here. Hardly a scene, conversation, or idea goes by without a wink to the camera, a predictable aside, or even unnecessary on screen text, overshooting its narrative beats to the point where one can imagine even young children growing tired of it. The level of visual overstimulation seen in Spy Kids is rarely seen outside of programming for very young children, which is typically timed at about 15 minutes to meet their still-expanding attention spans. At feature-length, most viewers will find themselves growing tired of it well before they start wrapping things up at the finish line.
But then again, plenty of them won't be, and nearly all of them will be under the age of seven or so. One might be tempted to say that media for children was better in prior generations, but that would be largely incorrect, and it would be denying the important fact that children deserve programs they can call their own, and a lot of them surely liked this movie a lot. As far as these sorts of films go, you could really do much worse; Rodriguez's belief in the importance of family is clear throughout, and his direct encouragement for children to take control of their own futures is a more positive one than comes across in a good deal of children's media. Spy Kids: All The Time In The World may be a tough slog for adults, and certainly for anyone with photosensitive epilepsy, but if your kids do happen to enjoy it, or at least find Ricky Gervais's talking dog funny, there's no need to bemoan the decline of Western civilization.
SPECIAL FEATURES
This is a four-disc set, containing Blu-ray 3D, Blu-ray, DVD and Digital Copy versions of the film. The first three contain the listed special features, which are an interview with Robert Rodriguez, several deleted scenes, a featuretee entitled Spy Kids: Passing the Torch, Rowan and Mason's Video Diary, two features on the robotic dog and a feature on Spy Gadgets.
"Spy Kids: All The Time In The World" is on sale November 22, 2011 and is rated PG. Children & Family. Written and directed by Robert Rodriguez. Starring Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Jeremy Piven, Jessica Alba, Ricky Gervais, Joel Mchale, Rowan Blanchard, Mason Cook.
